Well, let's just get this out of the way (can't help myself):
Man, Angelina Jolie has really let herself go.

I got my mom that same shirt for Mothers-Day a couple years ago!

Lola! La la lala Lola!

December 29th 2003
3:28 PM

Jessie and Billy Ray sit down to have a serious talk with their son about his recent changes. It all started when Wyatt got into his granny's estrogen pills....
Little did they know that their attempt at a frank and earnest discussion would drive their only son over the edge...

....and into the Twilight Zone....

I've got one hand in my pocket and the other is flickin a cigarette.....

Dad, can I get the car keys....Oh, sorry mom, got confused....

Some people say Romance is making a comback. I say, I ate it.

When you look at the cover of that last Skynard album, you can see why it wasn't one of their bigger hits.

Sad thing is she probably took up smoking cause she thought it was glamourous.

Zorro, the later years....

It would be technically accurate to say that I don't hate her cause she's beautiful.

Play it again Sam.

After getting pampered at the day spa, No matter what he did, Johnny never could get his manhood back.

Sorry Johnny. It was there and I had to take it.

In between takes while recording here new album, Britney Spears took some personal time to enjoy a cup of coffee, a cigarette and to ponder the current state of affairs in the Middle East.

It's okay Dave. How can I be upset at that one? That's gold. Cracked me up.

At the conclusion of Viva La Bam, Don Vitodid surprisingly well on his new sexy web cam site.

There she issssss Miss Ukraniaaaa.

Come on Dave. You got to admit Johnny looks a little better after they shaved his back and bathed the dude.

OOOOHHHHH AAAAAAAHH this is Elana. Thanks for calling 1900 SEX GIRL. OOOHHHHH AAAHHHH I'm touching my D-cups. Ohhhh AHHHHH Do you want me?

Thank you, E.

I clean up nice.

Sex and the City II, Texarkana Boogaloo.

As the year wound to a close, Norma Rae took a few moments from her busy day to reflect upon her glories of the past year. By the time her contemplations were over, she still had another 2 minutes to go on her cigarette. This was down from the 3.5 minutes it had been last year. She removed her hand from her pocket and smacked it on her knee. "That's wart I'm talkin' bout!"

BTW Johnnie, this is part of the reason why mustaches went out of fashion.

I am afraid you are right, E.

Not so much pedophiles and porn stars as it was Dave's mom in her trailer sucking down a cancer stick.

(That made me laugh out loud, by the way...)

Virginia Slims - You've come a long way baby.

'Then she asked me if I wanted to play "submarine".'
'What does play "submarine" mean?'
'I don't know and I don't want to know.'

Quick question, you think she's a HollaBack girl?

Johnny, you need to tell Echowood he needs to step up his game if he wants to keep being your wingman.

I'll have a talk with him.

Wow, I leave for a minute and get a Dave's mom comment.
Johnny ease un on comments dealing with my mother. Remember, she' s your grandmother.
Thats right, because I'm your daddy.
I love you son.

Touche, my friend. Touche.

Jimmy
- I need to put my penis in a woman's vagina. Any takers? Who are you?

hooker
-They call me Nut Gobbler.

Jimmy
-I have a raging hard-on that just won't quit. I need to get laid.

Johnny and Dave, it's a beautiful thing to see a family come together like that. Getting a little dusty in here.

BTW, I bet you didn't know that's Mariah Carey in that pic. That's right, you don't totally get her good side, and she's not wearing makeup, you hardly even reckonize her. Surprised she can't get someone to clean up her 'crib' though. Sup w/dat?

"Bobby, if you don't put that camera down and quit asking me to take it all off, I'm gonna smack you in the mouth."

"If you think THAT was good, wait'll you see what I've got in store for you next, tiger..... RRRAWWR!"

I mean it Bobby! Thats it I's gonna kell yer dumn ass....

"Damn, I wish you hadn't take my picture just then..... I think my makeup is smeared."

"You don't think the pig tails are too *girly*, do you?"

"Holy SHIT! You just ROCKED MY WORLD!!! My legs are still quivering!"

"Okay, let's see... what does mama have in her pocket for you? Why don't you come over here and find out....."

Hi! My name is Pat from The Center For Transgender Studies.
We would like to ask you a few questions for our files......

Damn Girl! Is it hot in here or is it just you?

As you can see in my dating photo, I love long walks on the beach, flowers are always appreciated and I enjoy to work out.....

Thanks, Frank! I'm proud of the progress so far. Since this picture was taken, I got a haircut for the first time in a year.

So what the Hell Scaramouch? Are you getting cheap on us? Caption competitions used to call out a winner and the winner got a YBNBY T-shirt.

Why no winners?

Plus If there was something to win, I think all of us would be a little more creative.

WTF Scaramouch, WTF!!!!!!

Reminds me of an old restaraunt slogan - Country Cookin Makes You Good Lookin.

I can't say anything...she lives down the road from my boyfriend's grandmother and will come kick my ass if I do....
oh, that's right...she's not out on parole yet....whew.....

Now what about the Onion DVD?
I'm making the bet those didn't get awarded either, am I right?
COME ON!

Yeah, what ever happened to that?

How bout this little missy's phone number?

8675309

Indeed. For a good time I will call. I'll give y'all a status report next monday. (Wish me luck!)

Good lfuck...

Whoo Wait a darn minute.. Isn't that Micheal Moore's retarded sister??

Winning the Lotto, is not going to change me.

First candidate for BOTH Extreme Makeovers!

Really though, that house is almost as much of a mess as this broad.