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Bill Gates retirement gift ideas

billgates2.jpg

Bill Gates is officially stepping down and retiring from Microsoft this week. And his friends and employees must be flummoxed.

What the heck do you get a guy worth 58 billion for a retirement gift? Carnegie-Melon gave him an old chair. Microsoft gave him a lifetime subscription to Xbox live. Yawn. Yawn. So here's a few gift ideas, you probably have better...


Just cause Gates is ultra rich doesn't mean his gifts have to be. They can be experiencial, unique, fun, practical or maybe stuff like this...


• Tickets to see Gwar.

Gwar.jpg

Gates has experienced a lot in his lifetime but in my mind, you haven't lived until you've seen a GWAR show. His friends can afford to get him a private concert or just a ticket so he can mix it up and watch from the center of the blood bath.


• An iPhone. Now that he's free of Microsoft, Bill can finally enjoy the simplicities of Apple. Now just $199.


• Jet Fuel - Have you seen the price of it lately? It's really going to cut into his charity budget, flying around the world to help the poor. A couple million gallons of free fuel should do.


• Angelina Jolie wrapped in bacon. 'Nough said.

angybacon.jpg


• Uncle Scrooge-style Money Bin. Got to keep the loot protected you know.
1moneybin.jpg


• Hoverboard.
hoverboard.jpg

Why should Michael J. Fox be the only one? And if anyone can figure out the technology to make this a reality, it's Bill's friends.


• The dark side of the moon. I'm talking about the the planet, not the overplayed album. Or maybe a Lunar Rover and the shuttle Atlantis to get him there. This could be group gift, like from the Microsoft Board of Directors.


• And then for those out of ideas, there's always this.


Okay that's the first few ideas that we thought of. As always, you're thoughts and gift ideas are welcome.

And thanks to Johnny Wright for contributing to this.

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55 Comments

Get him Linux SuSie 8.1!

said ConservaLiberCrat_08 on June 25, 2008 11:09 AM.

Yeah conserv, that's what I was thinking to. Maybe have Shaq write him a rap song too.

said E on June 25, 2008 11:18 AM.

The moon is well, a moon, it's not a planet.....

said m on June 25, 2008 11:22 AM.

Oh yeah... I like where this is going. Perhaps a hunting trip with Dick Cheney would be fun?

said ConservaLiberCrat_08 on June 25, 2008 11:24 AM.

Well, you could have had Shaq arrest him and take him to the topless bar, but.....

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

SHAQ SHOCKS THE SHERIFF, LOSES HIS DEPUTY'S BADGE

Shaquille O'Neal will lose his special deputy's badge in Maricopa County, Ariz., because of language he used in a rap video that mocks former teammate Kobe Bryant.

Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio said Tuesday the Phoenix Suns center's use of a racially derogatory word and other foul language left him no choice.

"I want his two badges back," Arpaio said. "Because if any one of my deputies did something like this, they're fired. I don't condone this type of racial conduct."


Poor Shaq, now he has to get Bill something else....

said Trailwaze on June 25, 2008 11:27 AM.

Sorry, damn ringing phones..

Here is the link for that article....

http://www.statesman.com/horns/content/sports/stories/other/06/25/0625sptmakers.html?cxtype=rss&cxsvc=7&cxcat=54

said Trailwaze on June 25, 2008 11:28 AM.

No worries Trailwaze. Shaq sounds like he's more qualified to be a deputy for L.A.P.D. anyway!

said ConservaLiberCrat_08 on June 25, 2008 11:33 AM.

Sheriff Arpaio, tell Shaq how his ass tastes.....

We should get Bill a custom Microshaft...er....Microsoft Monopoly Game!

said Trailwaze on June 25, 2008 11:36 AM.

Hmmm... The Monopoly game sounds nice, but they take FOREVER to play to the end, and besides - I heard he's not that good at it any more. He played it for what seemed to be an eternity and he didn't win.

Oh I know!! Let's give him a one-way ticket to someplace like Somalia, fully equipped with a laptop, Windows ME (or maybe even Windows '98 VERY first edition), and a tech support number to 'help' him when he has trouble logging on to Delta.com for his ticket home.

said ConservaLiberCrat_08 on June 25, 2008 11:49 AM.

I have no suggestions, but I really got a kick out of the underwear site.

said Miss Cellania on June 25, 2008 11:55 AM.

No need to go archaic, send him with Vista and he'll never get home....

said Trailwaze on June 25, 2008 11:57 AM.

That undroo reminds me of a joke I heard once.....

said Trailwaze on June 25, 2008 11:58 AM.

Get him a consultation with those Queer Eye for the Straight Guy dudes.

said E on June 25, 2008 12:04 PM.

Mr. Gates,

My retirement gift is a fully operational Death Star. She is ready to rock and roll. The Death Star comes with thousands of loyal henchman willing to do your bidding. We also put a plywood plank over that three meter hole, so no Jedi Knights can "bulls-eye the womp rat" and ruin your fun.

One caveat; The Death Star runs on Windows Vista. So, she's a little, uh, bug-prone. We don't have all the kinks worked out yet. During a test run we accidentally blew up Pluto. (Oops!) But that isn't really a planet any more, so not that big of deal.

Best wishes,

Johnny Wright

said Johnny Wright on June 25, 2008 12:09 PM.

We could have a Vista error sound orchestra in his honor....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPhxU71WMLk

said Trailwaze on June 25, 2008 12:14 PM.

Here's one of the rap lyrics 'Yo Jobs, tell my how my ass tastes.'

said E on June 25, 2008 12:14 PM.

They could remake the movie Revenge of the Nerds and give him a starring role. (I can see him with a goofy laugh and highwaters.)

said E on June 25, 2008 12:18 PM.

They could make a little fake rainbow in the cafeteria and let him find a real pot of gold at the end of it. That'd be cute.

said E on June 25, 2008 12:25 PM.

What's Michael Jackson's old sidekick Bubbles up to? A pet chimp would work. (Sounds like a sitcom BG and the Bear. Retiree Bill Gates and his pet chimp travel the country in an RV and get in various shenanigans each week. Sounds like a winner to me.)

said E on June 25, 2008 12:26 PM.

Give him a shot at love With Tila Tequila.

said Dave on June 25, 2008 12:27 PM.

I assume he's just going to sit around and watch tv now. So everytime he sees something on tv he likes, just have him yell 'I want it!' and get some flunky to go get it for him.

said E on June 25, 2008 12:28 PM.

Give him the Rosie O'donnell thong collection.

said Dave on June 25, 2008 12:28 PM.

I'd totally watch Gates on Shot of Love. Though I will say I think him and New York would really hit it off.

said E on June 25, 2008 12:29 PM.

Give him a copy of M. Knight Shylamlam's "the Penis"

said Dave on June 25, 2008 12:30 PM.

What the hell, if it doesn't work out on A shot at love lets give him a spot on Flavor of Love 4.
If that doesn't work out we'll give him a wig and some fake hooters and put him in Rock of Love 3 with Brett Michaels. At least he'll get laid.

said Dave on June 25, 2008 12:34 PM.

I think the ultimate gift would be a lap dance from Opra.

said Dave on June 25, 2008 1:13 PM.

The complete set of Michael Jackson's neverland ranch video surveilance collection.

said Dave on June 25, 2008 1:18 PM.

Sorry, That last one was kind of messed up. please disregard that.

said Dave on June 25, 2008 1:21 PM.

A chia pet, the ab roller, a George Foreman grill, a laser watch, one of those singing fishes...

said E on June 25, 2008 1:24 PM.

I don't see it anymore Dave. The Neverland Ranch one? Nope. Disregarded.

said Johnny Wright on June 25, 2008 1:24 PM.

A romantic weekend getaway with Bono. (Vase full of viagra not included.)

said E on June 25, 2008 1:25 PM.

To go with Bubbles: A pet llama, the bones of the elephant man, a hyperbaric (sp) chamber.

said E on June 25, 2008 1:27 PM.

A loaf of bread, a gallon of milk and a stick of butter.

said E on June 25, 2008 1:28 PM.

You're on to something E... in fact, I say we should just BUY him Billy Mays.

said ConservaLiberCrat_08 on June 25, 2008 1:28 PM.

Don't underestimate the appeal of a YBNBY t-shirt.

said E on June 25, 2008 1:31 PM.

Kato Kalin.

said Dave on June 25, 2008 1:41 PM.

I think the US should give Bill Iraq.

said Dave on June 25, 2008 1:45 PM.

Dave, E, you're busting me up. Keep 'em coming.

said Baierman on June 25, 2008 1:48 PM.

Canada.

said Baierman on June 25, 2008 1:48 PM.

Hepatitis C from Pamela Anderson.

said Dave on June 25, 2008 1:49 PM.

A new sweater. Charm school lessons. Coupon for free tattoo or body piercing. A guest stint on Hollywood Squares.

said E on June 25, 2008 2:00 PM.

'Hepatitis C from Pamela Anderson.' Is that a perfume Dave?

said E on June 25, 2008 2:10 PM.

Pay Tiger Woods to let Bill beat him at Golf. 'Oh pwned Tiger! Who's you're daddy, who's your daddy?'

said E on June 25, 2008 2:11 PM.

A unicorn, a mermaid, a jackalope, a centaur.

said E on June 25, 2008 2:12 PM.

Give him a badge and make him a cop like Shaq.

'He's a retired software exective with a bias towards action, and He's an all star center who can't shoot free throws. Together They Fight Crime.'

said E on June 25, 2008 2:16 PM.

....If only their trusty sidekick Bubbles wouldn't always get in the way with his zany antics.

said Baierman on June 25, 2008 2:21 PM.

Get him a Kathy Griffin sandwhich with Steve Wozniak. Just like old times I bet.

said E on June 25, 2008 2:47 PM.

Get him a jar of that controversial gay mayo.

said E on June 25, 2008 3:51 PM.

What shal we give for a man who is supposed to have everything he wants? Hmmm... Let me see... What about a big box entirely full of nothing?

said Leonardo Carvalho on June 25, 2008 6:01 PM.

whoa!!! me pink now!!

said Leonardo Carvalho on June 25, 2008 6:02 PM.

dark side of the moon "overplayed" cant happen!
i think i'd simply get the guy a pair of shorts! i bet those pasty white legs have never seen the light of day.

said lewis on June 25, 2008 6:22 PM.

how about the gift that keeps on giving.....the act of giving it back...imagine what 10 billion could do for New Orleans, or the folks in the Midwest... and Bill would still have 48 BILLION....jeez, just give a little.....

said shadow_74 on June 25, 2008 11:17 PM.

How about a YBNBY bacon flavored coffee table book?

said Trailwaze on June 26, 2008 9:54 PM.

I'd arrange to get him a key to Area 51.

said Jeni Gump on July 2, 2008 4:27 PM.

Do you think that Obama is going to win because the Republicans have such a bad candidate?
Why did John McCain make his final argument against Obama... coal?
That's his closing argument? William Ayers, Rev. Wright, spreading the wealth, Born Alive, meeting dictators without preconditions, etc. all have to take a back seat so that McCain can go to Colorado and New Mexico to talk about coal? Does this more or less explain why he's going to get his clock cleaned Tuesday?

said RoyArtelo on November 8, 2008 4:00 PM.
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