Hollywood mess Tatum O'Neal, who has been a mess longer than most Hollywood messes, was recently popped in New York City buying crack cocaine. Crack. Wow. At first she told officers she was "doing research for a film role." Can't believe New York's finest didn't go for that that one. That's iron clad. The coppers didn't buy it. Like Tatum O'Neal has a film role. That's ridiculous.
Miss O'Neal then changed her tune. Her rock solid reason for procuring rock cocaine? The former child star and heroin addict said her dog had died. Her Scottish Terrier had passed away and she was grieving. A little crack was just the pick-me-up she needed.
This makes sense. Two months ago our family dog passed away. My Mom mainlined heroin for a few days to cope. I had some crystal meth to dam up my sadness. It's how we deal with the loss of a pet in America.
We'll now wait for the ex Mrs. McEnroe to say she is also suffering from "exhaustion" and is going back to Promises rehab center. "Tatum, you have the producers from "The Surreal Life" on line three."
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Reminds me of a story this one dude told about never doing drugs but being out of money and needing 20 bones found a joint and sold it for the 20 bones that he needed.
Thats right photographic memory.
Sorry to all. Drugs mentioned and I no longer make sence to anyone but Johnny.
This is true.
Winona Ryder used the 'researching a role excuse' when stealing clothes from Sacks. What can't you do with it? It's a winner.
I think Hugh Grant may have also used the research gambit for the Divine Brown prostitution scandal of 1995.
It's a classic.
hmmmm I sense a Top Ten Lamest Alibis story in the works.
I'll start working on it boss. A great idea.
My 16 year old dog is slowly dying, I guess I'll have to stock up on my narcotic supplies to cope when I finally have to have her put down. Maybe I can get a signed H. prescription from my veterinarian.
'My comments need to be taken in context.'
Personal fave. No person of 'good faith' can argue with you then.
'I did call my opponent a yowling, inbred, redneck. But, please, take these comments in context.'
AweSome.
Out of context is really tired. NOBODY buys it anymore.
I don't know what it means to begin with.
Reminds me of that time when the cops found me tossing endangered dolphins and poisonous blowfish into an industrial shredder and repackaging them as baby food to be distributed to Eastern European orphanages in exchange for weapons grade uranium.
They took it all out of context.
Once they found out that I needed the uranium to construct a nuclear bomb to drop on Dick Van Dyke in order to irradiate him into his natural state: Super Immortal Dick Van Dyke, and that the blowfish/dolphin elixir actually helped the orphans to develop a resistance to iocane powder, and that the dolphins were real jerks anyway, things settled down.
See? Context.
"We'll now wait for the ex Mrs. McEnroe to say she is also suffering from "exhaustion" and is going back to Promises rehab center. "Tatum, you have the producers from "The Surreal Life" on line three."
True dat. I'll be watching too.
You like how she got a tat right after?