Valued readers,Recently we brought you, the members of the Loyal 77, a ridiculous and pointless piece entitled The Mystique of the Moustache; A Retrospective of Masculinity.
Since then we have had a few moustache related items sent to us and brought to our attention here at the YBNBY head offices. Unfortunately, I don't have an office or a desk yet. I'm in the hallway working on an ironing board. My requests for a Mac Book Pro were laughed off and I was issued a refurbished Commodore 64. Then I was told to "Shut up, write about monkeys and try to earn your keep."
We all know moustaches are funny. After the jump, we have a stache themed omnibus entry for you.
The proprietors of the website American Mustache Institute wrote us saying that if we truly loved the stache we should give their site a gander. I have to say, it is quite something. Complete with an I Like Moustache's theme song. There is also a picture gallery that will bring salty tears to your eyes, a weekly stachey video, and an opportunity to vote for those who should be on "Mount Stachemore." Come on Arthur Conan Doyle...
If you are looking for the perfect gift for the manly man in you life, look no further than the "Jumbo Handlebar Mustache" from Archie McPhee. That's like a gold watch for the stache lover in your life. (Mom, if you're reading this, I really want one of those.)
Yankees slugger Jason Giambi was stinking out Yankee Stadium for the first part of the season. He had tried a number of "Slump Buster" tricks in hopes to snap out of his funk. Including wearing a gold g-string with a with a flame-line waistband. The thong in question has even been "shared" with various teammates who are also struggling at the dish. Try not to picture it. Try.
With the golden arse-floss not working (how could that not work?) Giambi decided to turn to the power of the stache. Since growing a solid upper lip warmer, Giambi's batting average has risen eighty points. The lesson we have learned here; moustaches are more powerful than steroids.
And finally...
After my moustachioed column ran, a similarly themed piece appeared in the New York Times. A few people brought it to my attention. The rather boring article was Field of Facial Hair Helps a Place in Baseball History.
Obviously this was a coincidence. But I was coaxed to write something to the New York Times to inquire about a possible rip off. (She's cute. Very Persuasive.) With my tongue firmly planted in my cheeky cheek, I wrote this;
The Times,
I had about a dozen readers send me the link to George Gene Gustines' article Field of Facial Hair Helps a Place in Baseball claiming that there are many similarities with the references he used and in the overall tone.
Just days earlier, my column The Mystique of the Moustache; A Retrospective of Masculinity was posted.
Of course this could be coincidence. But the timing is rather curious. One reader wondered if Mr. Gustines was doing web research for his piece and may have borrowed a bit. I am not making an accusation, I am only writing because I promised some readers that I would. They felt I should demand some royalties or a new laptop. A Mac Book will be fine. Cheers.
Please tell Mr. Gustines that mine is funnier. Thanks. (I am calling him "Mr." so it will make sense in the Times' style. Didn't want to confuse anybody.)
Yours in love and war,
Johnny Wright
Well, I'll be damned. Two hours later I received this;
Johnny,
Thank you for the feedback on our article, "Field of Facial Hair."
I'm happy to report that upon further review, our writer pitched his idea to us weeks ago -- well before your writing was posted online.
Thanks again for writing.
Mike Abrams
NYT Sports
I cannot tell how much of a giggle I had thinking that the New York Freaking Times actually looked into this. The largest and arguably most prestigious newspaper on the planet, made sure they didn't rip off YesButNoButYes.com. I felt quite proud.
Let the moustache's live. Let them blossom. Let them grow...
JW
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