Joining the idiotic ranks of the $1,000 pizza at Nino's Bellissima Pizza - it has caviar on it, that is awful - the $200 baked potato at The Four Seasons, and the $1,000 mint julep at the Kentucky Derby, The Wall Street Burger Shoppe is offering an all new way to show that you are a douchebag.
The eatery is offering a $175 hamburger.
The joint claims that the burger uses well-marbled Kobe beef that comes from "pampered beer-fed cows that get daily massages." How do we know these cows are being massaged? Wendy's could claim their cows are being massaged, how would we know if it was on the level? Are they massaged by the farmers? Or are they bringing in freelance masseuses picking up an extra gig? I can just see the blonde, leggy Swedish girl with the exotic-smelling oils cueing up the new age music and rubbing down Bossy in the barn. "You're going to taste so delicious to the jerk-off stock brokers that will pay $175 to eat you. Where are you stiff? You guide me."
The chef then adds elf and shimenji mushrooms, (there are elf mushrooms? That Legolas is a famous dude) and adds, wait for it, foie gras. Everyone knows to make a burger better, you add BACON, not foie gras. Bacon makes everything better. Then it's served on a brioche bun with golden truffle mayonnaise.
Now, here's the kicker. Sprinkled over the creation is flecks of gold leaf. Of course, that makes sense. How can you enjoy a delicious piping hot burger without gold flakes?
As far as I see it, there are two explanations for paying for this burger. One, as mentioned before, you really are a douchebag. That goes without saying. And two, you are desperate to have an actual "I pooped gold" story in your quiver. ("Oh yeah? Listen to this. One time, I crapped gold! True story. See, there is this burger joint near Wall Street...") If that is the case, you get a pass. I respect that. But if you pay $175 for a hamburger, you should get a merciless beating with a sock full of bars of soap. Like Private Pyle in "Full Metal Jacket."
If it couldn't become any more inane, downstairs a similar burger minus the gold, is available for less than a tenner.
The owner if the place says that about twenty dopes a day buy the thing.
Shame on you all.
For what it's worth, for the best burger in Manhattan, head to Corner Bistro in the West Village. You don't have to put on layaway. And you can get it with bacon.
Mmmm, bacon...
The chef then adds elf and shimenji mushrooms, (there are elf mushrooms? That Legolas is a famous dude) and adds, wait for it, foie gras. Everyone knows to make a burger better, you add BACON, not foie gras. Bacon makes everything better. Then it's served on a brioche bun with golden truffle mayonnaise.
Now, here's the kicker. Sprinkled over the creation is flecks of gold leaf. Of course, that makes sense. How can you enjoy a delicious piping hot burger without gold flakes?
As far as I see it, there are two explanations for paying for this burger. One, as mentioned before, you really are a douchebag. That goes without saying. And two, you are desperate to have an actual "I pooped gold" story in your quiver. ("Oh yeah? Listen to this. One time, I crapped gold! True story. See, there is this burger joint near Wall Street...") If that is the case, you get a pass. I respect that. But if you pay $175 for a hamburger, you should get a merciless beating with a sock full of bars of soap. Like Private Pyle in "Full Metal Jacket."
If it couldn't become any more inane, downstairs a similar burger minus the gold, is available for less than a tenner.
The owner if the place says that about twenty dopes a day buy the thing.
Shame on you all.
For what it's worth, for the best burger in Manhattan, head to Corner Bistro in the West Village. You don't have to put on layaway. And you can get it with bacon.
Mmmm, bacon...
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My favorite I pooped gold story involved a $30 bottle of Goldschlager.
Next time I will try it with bacon. :-)
that's less than $5 worth of gold leaf, btw.
Trailwaze, that's A game material, laddie.
Well done.
I knew they were ripping us off, Cyber Slug.
Rat bastards.
Yes but the peppermint taste that you regurgitate in the morning is priceless.
And there is nothing like taking the walk of shame with Gold in your shorts!
I think its time someone revoked their High Life privileges.
Dude, most of us are paying four dollars a gallon for gas. We are all Douche bags.
Yeah Dave, but were lesser douche bags for spending our $175 on 40 some gallons of gas rather than a burger.
I wonder if the gold leaf would get caught in your throat?
Is the 10 burger down stairs the exact burger minus the gold, Kobe Beef and all?
Did you know the New York Post reported that 1 in 4 New Yorkers have Herpies?
If you never tried Kobe beef, it would be hard to understand.
I make the best burgers. Ever. I will sell them for $1.00 a pop just to cover the expenses of making them. I will rule the world. And yes... I use bacon.