Cookie Monster showed up on Colbert last Thursday to discuss why cookies are no longer America's #1 snack food. (Fruit now has that honor.) Good stuff Steven.

I just got a phone call from my buddy. "Go to TMZ.com. There's video of Shaq rapping about Kobe. You have to see it."

Ordinarily I don't like dialing up TMZ. Their bastardization of the English language -- seriously guys, make more puns -- is troubling and I object to the paparazzi on general principle. However, they obtained a video of The Diesel free-styling at a New York club taunting Kobe Bryant. It's amazing.

It isn't exactly Keats, but I have to admit, "Kobe, tell me how my a** tastes" is a catchy hook. The kids will be singing it in no time.

Enjoy.



My favorite line is when the big fella says "I had a vasectomy, now I can't breed 'em." That almost is Keats.

This is not the JCPenny store I remember. They've given up talking about price, sales, styles, selection and that crap. Now they're marketing clothes teens can take on and off real fast - that way they won't get caught having sex by their parents. I think that's the message here anyway.

I can't wait to see all the up tight folks in the USA go ape sh*t over what this is implying.

POST UPDATE: This ad looks to be a fake and JCP is none too pleased.

Every so often I stumble across something the world wide interwebs that makes my day a bit better.

Such as this:



A bloke named Gus from Scotland that makes simple videos of he and his buddies covering old rock and roll classics with plastic ukuleles, melodicas, maracas, beat up suitcases and other thrift shop instruments. I think the guy is incredible.

More about Gus and more videos after the jump.

Is there anything more iconic than the Star Wars opening crawl? (OK, perhaps the Statue of Liberty. And all of Shakespeare's works. Some might even argue the Scorpions earlier albums. I digress) For those of you who've always wanted to see your name in yellow font, scrolling toward an infinite point in space, the Star Wars Crawl is here!

(Via the always amazing LaughingSquid)

I just got back from a short trip to my local Dunkin Donuts. It's been a trying morning already, and I was in need of a sugar fix to boost my morale. It's been a couple of weeks since my last Donut binge, and so I was pretty taken aback to see all the donuts in DD are now labelled - large and clear - with their calorie content, apparently due to a new NYC law.

WTF? Look, logically I know in my head that a corn muffin is 500 calories, but I really don't want you to smack that across my head when I'm just looking for a sweet treat. Ugh, this isn't about denial, it's just another example of the health nazis trying to criticize my lifestyle choices. BACK OFF, I DO NOT WISH TO BE INFORMED. IGNORANCE BREEDS CONTENTMENT! LONGEVITY WITHOUT INDULGENCE IS A MEANINGLESS EXISTENCE!

Grrrr. Now I need another donut.

Today's Lunch Hour Veg is dedicated to George Carlin. His humor, opinions and honesty will sorely be missed.

Sometimes you turn on the TV to watch something funny. Tonight, I suggest starting with your TV channel listing guide. It's a good place for a laugh, as these 7 examples help to illustrate.

TWISTED: A Balloonamentary!

Finally a film for everyone who has ever wanted to know why in the hell someone would want to make a living out of blowing up balloons.

TWISTED just had it's NYC premier this weekend. Here's blurb about what to expect if you see it...

Twisted: A Balloonamentary explores how eight balloon twisters' lives are dramatically changed by a little piece of latex...this documentary is about passion, salvation, love, death, race, religion and a whole lot of balloons."

I think it's a prime example of "to each his/her own." Here's the trailer, which you can also see on the site.

Well this sucks. Definitely not the news you want to read on a Monday morning. George Carlin died of heart failure last night, and there are seven words I'd like to mutter about how that makes me feel. Carlin, in a lot of ways, paved the road for today's comics. He was clever. He was hilarious. And his twists of the English language were genius. Thanks for the laughs George, you'll be missed.

I put together some of his best material after the jump.