I cannot resist a good monkey story. I am drawn to them like a shark to a bucket of chum. Like the story last week of a monkey operating a robotic arm with it's brain. That amazed me.

Monkeys crack me up, always have. Especially when they blow raspberries or work with an organ grinder. Put a funny hat or glasses on a chimp and I'll laugh. Have them smoking a cigarette and I'm the floor. How about a monkey washing a cat? I could laugh so hard that a little pee might come out. Monkey washing a cat, good times.

I recently heard a monkey story that a had to look into.

I preface this little tale by saying that I haven't exhausted all my journalistic skills here. Some of this may be apocryphal. But come on, I'm not Dan Rather - wait, bad example - I'm not Walter Cronkite. That's better. This is YesButNoButYes, our silly, rubbish blog, not The Washington Post.

It's my understanding that it is illegal to kill a monkey in India. This is in large part out of respect to the monkey god Hanuman. I'm sure that if I was Hindu, Hanuman would be my favorite god. Even more so than that elephant babe with the four arms. Since you cannot exterminate the little buggers, they run rampant. My buddy Joel spent some time in India and he had a book of monkey shagging pictures. They were boning everywhere and causing all kinds of mischief. Well, not all monkeys are as well behaved as Cheetah in the Tarzan films. There are monkey criminals. Stealing fruit from vendors, attacking tourists, throwing rocks at the kiddies, I think one robbed a bank with an AK-47, some bad monkeys.

"You Don't Mess with the Zohan" ** (out of four): Fans of genital-related humor will be sure to appreciate "Zohan". But for the rest of us, "Mess" sums it up pretty well.

There was a time when every Adam Sandler role was characterized by little more than a funny voice and some serious developmental issues. Then came the "important" projects -- "Punch Drunk Love", "Spanglish", "Reign Over Me" -- where he simply dropped the funny voice. In "You Don't Mess with the Zohan", Sandler returns to the funny voice and adds hair and wardrobe to match.

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This story is so crazy it's probably true. The people running a nursing home in Germany have been having problems with their alzheimers patients, who keep forgetting they no longer have homes to go to and keep wandering off - putting up a fake bust stop at the gate.

According to the story in The Telegraph:

"They know the green and yellow bus sign and remember that waiting there means they will go home."

The result is that errant patients now wait for their trip home at the bus stop, before quickly forgetting why they were there in the first place.

"We will approach them and say that the bus is coming later and invite them in for a coffee," said Richard Neureither, Benrath's director. "Five minutes later they have completely forgotten they wanted to leave."

Oh those wacky Krauts.

Michael Jackson said it best, "It's a turf war, on a global scale." The folks at urbantakeover have taken that statement a bit literally. Now, this may be slightly illegal. But like most illegal things, it's a lot of fun.

(Via the geniuses at LaughingSquid)

The legendary ladies of burlesque, today on the veg.

The cup of chocolate frosting is a nice touch. Talk about the perfect Father's Day gift (via Buzzfeed )

Wanna get depressed? Head over to BreathingEarth and see how your country matches up against the rest of the world in terms of birth/death rate and the tonnes of CO2 they release.

Things to note: As much as they love to screw in India, they spend a good amount of time dying too. Oh and China, thanks for ruining the environment for the rest of us.

17-year-old Bo Burnham sings about math. It makes about as much sense as new math does, but way more entertaining.

"Kung Fu Panda" *** (out of four): Sticking to a tried-and-true formula (hapless underdog discovers he's the Chosen One) still proves effective when it's done with a snappy pace, eye-popping animation and a cast of game comedic vocal talents headed by Jack Black.

If I asked you to tell me the plot of "Kung Fu Panda", the animated tale about the titular bear who yearns to master the titular martial art, you probably could. The writers, Jonathan Aibel & Glenn Berger (from TV's "King of the Hill"), stick to a tried-and-true formula (hapless underdog discovers he's the Chosen One) and they don't stray too far from the well-trodden (or in this case, well-beaten) path. But while it's been tried (and tried again), the formula does still hold true. Especially when it's done with a snappy pace, eye-popping animation and a cast of game comedic vocal talents headed by Jack Black.

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Some morning humor for you. Thanks CollegeHumor

In this dating game the player is Beer. Beautiful Hops, tasty barley, intoxicating alcohol. Ambers, darks, lights, lagers, pilsners, ale's, hefeweizen, stouts, we love them all! Except Coors Light - which is beer flavored water and what's the point of that? Unless you get off on having an overactive bladder.

Fighting for Beers affection are Beers most usual partners: Pretzels. Peanuts. Popcorn. And wings. They each have their strengths and weaknesses, so choose wisely.