There is a slight possibility that some of these stories have an apocryphal element in them. However, as far as I can tell in my research, these tales are true.

While reading these strange stories, I compiled a list of dozens of potential winners in my Mead Composition Notebook. We could have had an exhaustive Honorable Mentions List. It could have gone on for 7,000 words or so. So we're just doing one.

Honorable Mention: Bando Mitsugoro; 1975 - Bando was a fairly well known kabuki actor. As we all know, those kabuki actors are a smug bunch of sumbitches. Believing his kabuki skills made him immortal, Bando ate four livers of the fugu fish to show his strength. The fugu is also known as the puffer fish. If the toxic fugu is not cooked or prepared properly it can kill you. The liver is the most poisonous component of the fish. Four livers could kill the entire roster of the Yomiuri Giants. Needless to say, Bando's bombast did not save his life. He croaked into a pile of wasabi. People still eat the fugu. It can freaking kill you. If there is a fish that can kill you, and thousands that won't, why would you roll the dice on the poisonous fish? Have a salmon roll. Maybe have a little cod. I love a good New York City diner tuna melt, but if Brian Williams reported that if not mixed properly, tuna salad could kill you, I'll have the Club.

Now to the list. The Ten, uh, Greatest Bizarre Deaths? No, that's not right.

The Ten Most Infamous Bizarre Deaths. There, that's better.

10. Lee Sueng Seop; 2005 - This 28-year-old South Korean had been playing the videogame StarCraft in an internet café for almost 50 hours straight. At one point I heard he urinated Red Bull during the marathon session. As Lee was trying to pass the 50 hour mark, he collapsed of exhaustion and fatigue and expired. Game over. He should have eaten a green and white mushroom for an extra life. Make a note Grand Theft Auto enthusiasts.

9. Isadora Duncan; 1927 - This poor young dancer was the passenger in a convertible motor car, cruising along without a care in the world. Isadora was known for wearing long silk scarves. The scarf slipped down near the wheel well and got caught in the spokes. The car was moving at a pretty good clip, the scarf tightened, and Ms. Duncan was killed by strangulation and a broken neck. Just imagine driving your date to the talking pictures, putting your arm around her and ... oh no.

8. Moliere; 1671 - Probably a familiar name to those of you that took a drama class in college. He was a prominent French actor and playwright. While on stage performing the lead role of his play Le Malade imaginaire, Moliare suffered a violent coughing fit, could not regain his composure, and gave up the ghost right there on the stage. "And ... scene."

7. Titus; 81 - According to an ancient Talmud, an insect flew up the Roman emperor's nose and gnawed on his brain for seven years. Titus noticed the pain seemed to abate when he heard the pounding of a blacksmiths hammer, so he paid one to pound horseshoes nearby. I wonder if the court blacksmith and the court jester got along? Eventually the insect chewed his brain to the point it killed Titus. Upon his death, doctors opened Titus's skull - I don't know if the court blacksmith helped with that procedure - and the bug had grown to the size of a small bird. Jewish tradition says this was divine retribution for Titus destroying the Temple in Jerusalem. Bug eating your brain, that'll teach you anti-Semites.

6. Jack Daniel; 1911 - Maybe a few of you have heard of him. Perhaps his product has provided a little Dutch courage for you in the past. Apparently Jack also had a bit of a temper. When he couldn't recall the combination to his personal safe, he kicked the safe in anger. I guess that didn't work so good. He injured his toe, it became infected, and he eventually died of blood poisoning from the injury. But Jack and Coke's probably numbed the pain.

5. Felix Faure; 1899 - The 58-year-old French president keeled over while receiving oral sex from his 30-year-old mistress in his office. Gives new meaning to being "done" after oral sex.

4. Aeschylus; 458 BC - The ancient Greek poet and playwright, who Bobby Kennedy quoted in a speech after Martin Luther King was assassinated, was sitting outside having a meal. An eagle carrying a live tortoise - a potential meal for the eagle - saw Aeschylus down below and mistook his bald pate for a stone. Trying to crack open a tasty lunch, the eagle dropped the tortoise onto Aeschylus's head and it killed him. I know what you're thinking, it's okay, the tortoise survived.

3. Francis Bacon; 1626 - The noted British statesman, essayist and philosopher died of pneumonia he contracted while filling a chicken with ice to prove that freezing preserves food. The ultimate price for discovery.

2. Arius; 336 - This gent was a heretical priest who was integral in the organization of the Council of Nicaea. (Brief history lesson; The Council of Nicaea was an ecumenical council held in 325 in an effort to establish a uniform Christian doctrine.) Eleven years after the council met, Arius had some gastrointestinal issues. The poor guy was blocked up, couldn't get to Rite Aid for some Metamucil, and tried to pass wind so hard he blew out his internal organs. You read that right, he farted out his innards. Now you know the answer if you're ever asked the question "What did ancient priest Arius and Elvis Presley have in common?" Both died on the can.

1. Chrysippus; 207 BC - This is one of the greatest stories I have ever heard. The Greek philosopher died of laughter while watching his drunk donkey attempt to eat figs. He died laughing. Apparently, this is possible. It is a medical condition called "fatal hilarity." You can laugh so hard that you suffer from asphyxiation. Who wouldn't die laughing watching a drunk donkey eat figs?



Have a better story? We'd love to hear it.