"I'm sorry sir, uh, ma'am, uh, you, something keeps beeping. Are you sure you don't have any keys or coins in your pocket? A watch maybe? Weird. I need male, uh, female, ... I need an assist on machine four."
Come on kids, I know you can do better than that one.


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- Our complete archive of Caption Competitions.
"I wasn't held enough as a child."
Despite a horrible tackle box related accident, spirits remained high.
I laughed out loud at that one.
After trying to be cool with the younger generation, Pastor Steve realised that he was probably the worst Youth Minister in history.
I once had a jewelry store in the mall.. I could not pay my monthly overhead.. So I decided to sell my wares outdoors... Do you like my new storefront?
It's going to be hard to top Dave's.
After years of research and a lot of trial and error, Jeff had finally managed to perfectly personify Whatthefuckness.
Warren is such a prick.
Sure it hurt, but Vanilla Ice would prove to the world that he really is, one hard core son of a B.
"Missed a spot."
Beauty, Joe.
Brevity is what made yours better than mine.
Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean 9, Curse of the Lock Jaw.
Most people found the new "Maybelline Extreme" campaign to be quite confusing.
Aguilera, you've done it again!
Hold up Bro, I think you got something on your chin.
This is why you don't want to use drugs kids.
The piercing convention was last week? Wow, don't I feel foolish!
In the year 2055, this is what conservative Republicans will look like.
Johnson, is everything ok at home? You look a little odd.
Bloody hell, E is bringing it with the freaking Golden Sombrero!
Four goal in a row. Take a bow.
Make that five. The rare Platinum Sombrero.
I'd like to see this guy try to pass a metal detector.
Uncle Fester went a little overboard for the premiere of "Pirates of the Caribbean: Davey Jones Closet".
The sad thing is, this picture is actually of me.
You just know he wears white after Labor Day.
You can see why Queer Eye for the Straight Guy wasn't so successful that first season.
Pledge week at Transylvania University was particularly competitive this year.
Solid Dracula reference.
E is just en feugo, though.
Good to see Rodman showing up for the Playoffs.
OMG! Did you see that one dude in the acid wash jeans jacket? That is sooo 80's!
Worst ninja ever...
It's a tough look to pull off, but I think you did... Well actually, maybe not. Nevermind.
Johnson, I know I told you every good salesman has a schtick, but this isn't what I meant.
Sideshow Bauble.
I must say I do like the Cthulhu/bagel motiff on the forehead.
Because nothing goes with eldritch terror like an easy-to-tote breakfast for those busy cultists on the go.
Captain Chaos felt that his new hair color was a bit flashy.
Swayze, nice bagel observation! Keen. Eye.
Echowood, nice. Worst Ninja Ever - sounds like a sitcom.
Johnny, they totally got your good side, lovely photo.
Moses smell the roses, I think Sawyze's right. Is that a bagel? I think it's bagel.
Have to say, kids, I've been impressed with the effort today.
Echowood and I are currently writing the pilot script for "Worst Ninja Ever." We have a ten episode commitment from FOX.
Wait till you see the shenanigans the ninja gets into! Ninjas can't be a bus driver! It can't miss.
I can't possibly go out tonight with this zit on my nose.
Johnny, I will totally watch that show. Give him a sidekick who does all the actual crime solving and have that guy live in a locker in a train station like Gary Coleman did in that one movie. Frickin awesome!
For the sidekick we have cast Bronson Pinchot.
Chuck Norris is in line to play the ninja's adoptive father. We're still negotiating.
The ninja will be played by none other than McLovin.
Like I said, this can't miss.
Nobody pays any notice to my receding hairline anymore.
After the staggering success of MAD magazine, Alfred E. Newman became reclusive and was only seen publicly in disguise.
An astute Alfred E. Newman reference out of the rafters!
Nice.
Wow, that Alfred E. Newman one was perfect. I knew I recognized that goofy grin from somewhere, but I couldn't quite place it.
John's desperate attempt to draw attention away from his receding hairline went awry.
Worst midlife crisis ever.
Emmett Kelly's evil twin brother makes a long awaited debut.
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
"Mmmbl mmbl mph mlll mphrr mrrr!"
That one cracked me up.
PinHead's cute n sweet little sis opens a Psychiatrist booth AND Lemonade Stand to stay competitive with Lucy. The Head Dr. is IN! 5 cents please.
Negative influence from YouTube is generally held to be responsible for the character change in High School Cheerleaders.
Miely Cyrus grows up... "I'd like to thank all of my Real Friends who were there for me when I was little. I can't begin to describe the outlet and overwhelming positive support received through Myspace. And to Disney, I'd just like to offer a big F*** Y**. I heart all my fans of every age! Smoochies!"
"So Yeah, I am So Psyched about my new job! It's so cool and super easy. My Offical title is 'Marketing and Demo. Team Member' But really all I need to do is just Stand by whatever products I need to feature that week at a little table by the front door when they walk in. I Know! I can even decide on some of them like which one I wanna pick! Well.. First I'm gonna say my Absolute Fave is this Moisturizer by 'Kiss My Face' product line. They are Sooooo good for your skin! And all natural, and vegan, and no animal testing! I Know! Super Psyched!"
Tisk. Yeah yeah Madonna, I getcha, your Relevant or whatever. (Sigh, she really is just showing her age...)
*Quick check in mirror before walking out the door, obeying the too many accessories rule. Heh, I don't want to seem cluttered.*
*Press conference outside supreme court* "On behalf of my Client and the American Public, Thank You!"
ALWAYS Tip your piercer. (No tipping is just RUDE F***ERS! If you can't afford to tip then just stay at home.)
Eight in a row.
Atta kid, Karma.
Smiling self-consciously, Norman couldn't help but worry that the studded collar was a little too much.
"This picture was taken moments before a tragic sneezing fit left two people dead and dozens injured."
As one always should, a quick check in the mirror before heading out can always ensure one looks "just right" for the occasion.
-A Lady's Guide to Dressing Well
Pardon my familiarness, but I think you have some spinach stuck to your tooth.
Next ring goes on the eyelids!
As Egon pondered if he'd gone too far with his Super Mario Brothers temporary tattoo, Gothmag walked by with his 8th nipple piercing...
So this is what zit chick from that other Caption Competition did to improve her appearance?
"I told you that nana prefers silver"