So, to brighten your weekend, I give you this treasure to ponder and mock.
Look at the spectators watching Poops MaGee run by. That is classic. Imagine the conversations as he ran past. "How did he spill chili on his lap during a marathon?"
I started with "The thrill of victory, the agony of da feces," then decided it wasn't that funny. I'm going to go with the obvious and let the boys and girls, The Loyal 77 who read my nonsense, top it.
"That damn Norwegian put a laxative in my Gatorade again."
Enjoy. You're welcome.
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- Our complete archive of Caption Competitions.
Some of those performance enhancing drugs have some slight side effects.
Way to start it it off with a bang. Double down the line.
God damn it! I'll never have sauerkraut before running again!
Looks like he has a case of the runs.
The use of the word "sauerkraut;" 60% percent of the time, it works all the time.
OH MY GOD! WHERE'D ALL THIS SHIT COME FROM?!?!
The red letter date that Terrence learned that winning wasn't everything.
I hope that peanut that fell into my shoe doesn't give me a blister.
victory might taste sweet, but it smells a bit different.
Turbo-shitting - my new favorite olympic sport.
On the outside I hurt, but on the inside I feel Ooh sooo GOoood!
Corn off the cobb!
Son of a b., I know my friend Johnny is going to make a caption competition out of this.
When they said the runners could 'go', Johnson misunderstood what they meant.
swillz, very nice!
I'm prepping for a colonoscopy I swear!
Note to self: No Dinty More Beef Stew on race day.
"victory might taste sweet, but it smells a bit different." Wow. Atta kid Swillz. That one is ridiculous.
It reminded me of a little story. Years ago my little brother had his tenth birthday party. We took his little buddies to the park for games. One of the little guys had a combination of extreme excitement, ice cream, cake and the squirts. He crapped himself. It was running out his jeans onto his shoes.
So we started walking home. About halfway there, with the kid crying in shame, my smart-alecky brother Drew couldn't hold it in any longer. "What smells Cory"
True story.
The day that Francis lost his Domino's pizza sponsorship.
Lawrence decided that this was not the race to propose to his girl friend.
Chariots of Fire II - Electric Boogaloo.
Some days, you step in it............
Other days, "IT" steps on "YOU" !!!
The guy ran so fast he left skid marks.
The race is not always to the swift, or the continent.
Carbo loading? No, carbo unloading....
"The race is not always to the swift, or the continent."
A tip of the hat to that one...
Intestinal Fartitude
Johnson took the lead with his explosive start.
The funny thing was that this was the Immodium AD invitational.
1. Ive never seen chili dog interpreted that way
2. Anyone got a spoon and crackers?
I really like that some of these seem to have a Gary Larson/Far Side influence in their phrasing.
One of Seattle's favorite sons.
While Danny made it to the finish line,
his lunch did not.
You know what kind of underwear this cat wears?
Ah, Depends.
It's an oldie but a goodie.
Look, Bob - it's all about context. I f**ing told you to NOT crop the grizzly bear out of the picture!
Some people found the new Nike campaign a tad extreme.
I dont' want to dump on this guy, but I'm a pretty good runner myself.
Farting is such sweet sorrow.
After the first 6 miles of the race, Victor found that he was too pooped to continue.
Quitters Never Win,
Winners Never Quit.
But it's time to stop,
Once you take a shit.
This pic would make a great demotivational poster
Jake would do anything for attention.
Hellooo Newwmman.
It is an honor just to qualify for a marathon. Everything else is just gravy.
"Gravy." Ew.
"Farting is such sweet sorrow."
Echowood swinging a big stick!
I swear it's a melted Baby Ruth!
Swayze, gold star for the gravy comment.
Johnson won this race in a blowout.
Oh, jeeze, I think I went number three.
OH MY GOD, SOMEONE PUT SHIT IN MY PANTS!!!
"Number three."
That's amazing. From way downtown ... good! He shoots he scores!
Jeremiah won that race by a mudslide.
Oops, I crapped my pants!!!
Said Steve-O.
Push the button pull the chain
Out comes the chocolate choo choo train.
Or so he thought.
When did I come up with the idea for Depends Active Wear? It's a funny story...
As a Yankees fan, Truman wanted to show the world what he really thought of the Boston Red Sox running outfit his grandma bought him.
Oh CANADA!
Ladies and Gentlemen, we are just witnessing the fall of the Soviet Union.
"When did I come up with the idea for Depends Active Wear? It's a funny story..."
A dinger for Whcgonzo. Upper deck shot.
2008 National Hot Dog Eating /10K Biathalon bronze medalist.
Trust me, you don't want to see silver and gold.
2008 National Hot Dog Eating /10K Biathalon bronze medalist.
Damn Swayze, bringing your A game.
I'VE GOT THE RUNS!!!
Am I the first to write this? How can this be?????!!!!
Johnson, that was a great race. Come over here and give me hug.
Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?
It runs in the genes (jeans, get it, haha...yeah, I'm lame)
...or shorts.
"Did I just crap my pants?"
I liked it Brent.
You scrappy little tiger, you.
Torvald mistakenly thought the organizers announced that the race came with a free shart.
Diarrhea... cha, cha, cha... Diarrhea...
I can now die, knowing that George Carlin was wrong, because apparently, I have seen someone taking a shit whilst running at full speed.
"Torvald mistakenly thought the organizers announced that the race came with a free shart."
Amazing... Just amazing.
You know, I've heard of scat singing, but this scat racing business is new to me.
After a long day at work I love to jog home and take a dump, though not necessarily in that order.
The first annual Chocolate Rain marathon was a smashing success.
Boom! Three in a row!
The Chocolate Rain killed me.
Whew, I'm pooped.
I'm number two! I'm number two!
[looking down] I don't remember eating any corn!
June 1993. The day Kurt Cobain hung up his running shoes, decided to grow his hair out, and started a band.
Even though it was the most embarassing day of his life, Virgil still couldn't get that damn "Who let the dogs out" song out of his head.
That damn David Blaine went a little too far this time.
Running tip #7: A generous slathering of leakage liniment will wipe away those pesky leg cramps.
Bjorn misheard when the race announcers asked competitors to participate in creating a diorama.
After this race they changed the awards. It's now Gold, Silver, Bronze, - and Brown.
8th place wasn't worth such dedication.
Friends, readers, The Loyal 77;
I'm going to bed because I'm playing soccer in Central Park early tomorrow, but I want to commend the effort today. I have been laughing out loud on almost all of these.
The diarrhea/diorama line was brilliant TeaFizz.
Now, with the comments; I want to cross the century mark before the end of the weekend. 100+ poop jokes. We're nearly there.
Come on planet Earth, together we can...
Little known fact about GG Allin, he was a world class runner as well as a talented artist.
My parents always taught me, don't let your handicap (explosive diahrea) stop you from achieving your goals.
The key to a good race is a healthy colon.
I can't put my finger on it, but the trailer for Logan's Run Number 2 doesn't leave me with a good impression.
Welcome to YesButNoButYes,
Where if it isn't going into or coming out of an a**,
We ain't interested;
And following in the comedic footsteps of Wayne's World,
Where every day the word of the day is:
Sphincter.
..
This year's Bolder Boulder was won by a smidge.
When the racing community says they know their shit, they mean it!
Dammit. Don't bring your brown game bring your A game!
A G.G. Allin reference. Wow.
Carbo unloading.
The finish line always had a strange effect on Robert.
well it's all my mechanic's fault, he told me that morning that my car would run much better after he greased it up.
Gunnar, the surprise victor at this year's race, was merely trying to uphold what he had thought to be a strange tradition when he overheard someone mention that the winner of this race always ended up being some sort of shyster.
"I wonder, do these running shorts come with mud flaps?"
Claiming his swift victory, Tim misunderstood what it meant to be the first to "cross the line".
World Record holder in both the Boston and New York Shitathon.
100!
That's it for me, you guys have been great. Drive careful.
"Wow! That guy is fast as shit!!!"
Hey guys,
This is the original album cover for Crystal Gayle's hit song "My Brown Eye Blew..."
Shitty.
I've seen the pic before, but I loved your comments!
The field testing for Gatorade's new flavor, Picklez 'n' Prunez, weren't going so well.
A little late here but...
The race was for a colon cancer awareness group.
The down side of carbo-packing.
i am going to kill my sister for hitting me with that mud pie while i am running ! it threw my stride off !