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Caption Competition: Weekend Edition
109 Comments
Runner poops.gif

So, to brighten your weekend, I give you this treasure to ponder and mock.

Look at the spectators watching Poops MaGee run by. That is classic. Imagine the conversations as he ran past. "How did he spill chili on his lap during a marathon?"

I started with "The thrill of victory, the agony of da feces," then decided it wasn't that funny. I'm going to go with the obvious and let the boys and girls, The Loyal 77 who read my nonsense, top it.

"That damn Norwegian put a laxative in my Gatorade again."

Enjoy. You're welcome.

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109 Comments

Some of those performance enhancing drugs have some slight side effects.

said E on May 30, 2008 2:30 PM.

Way to start it it off with a bang. Double down the line.

said Johnny Wright on May 30, 2008 2:34 PM.

God damn it! I'll never have sauerkraut before running again!

said Leonardo Carvalho on May 30, 2008 3:01 PM.

Looks like he has a case of the runs.

said E on May 30, 2008 3:02 PM.

The use of the word "sauerkraut;" 60% percent of the time, it works all the time.

said Johnny Wright on May 30, 2008 3:05 PM.

OH MY GOD! WHERE'D ALL THIS SHIT COME FROM?!?!

said samL on May 30, 2008 3:10 PM.

The red letter date that Terrence learned that winning wasn't everything.

said Dave on May 30, 2008 3:18 PM.

I hope that peanut that fell into my shoe doesn't give me a blister.

said Dave on May 30, 2008 3:21 PM.

victory might taste sweet, but it smells a bit different.

said swillz on May 30, 2008 3:24 PM.

Turbo-shitting - my new favorite olympic sport.

said E on May 30, 2008 3:24 PM.

On the outside I hurt, but on the inside I feel Ooh sooo GOoood!

said Dave on May 30, 2008 3:24 PM.

Corn off the cobb!

said Dave on May 30, 2008 3:25 PM.

Son of a b., I know my friend Johnny is going to make a caption competition out of this.

said Dave on May 30, 2008 3:27 PM.

When they said the runners could 'go', Johnson misunderstood what they meant.

said E on May 30, 2008 3:28 PM.

swillz, very nice!

said E on May 30, 2008 3:29 PM.

I'm prepping for a colonoscopy I swear!

said Dave on May 30, 2008 3:32 PM.

Note to self: No Dinty More Beef Stew on race day.

said Baierman on May 30, 2008 3:32 PM.

"victory might taste sweet, but it smells a bit different." Wow. Atta kid Swillz. That one is ridiculous.

It reminded me of a little story. Years ago my little brother had his tenth birthday party. We took his little buddies to the park for games. One of the little guys had a combination of extreme excitement, ice cream, cake and the squirts. He crapped himself. It was running out his jeans onto his shoes.

So we started walking home. About halfway there, with the kid crying in shame, my smart-alecky brother Drew couldn't hold it in any longer. "What smells Cory"

True story.

said Johnny Wright on May 30, 2008 3:34 PM.

The day that Francis lost his Domino's pizza sponsorship.

said Dave on May 30, 2008 3:35 PM.

Lawrence decided that this was not the race to propose to his girl friend.

said Dave on May 30, 2008 3:40 PM.

Chariots of Fire II - Electric Boogaloo.

said E on May 30, 2008 3:43 PM.

Some days, you step in it............

Other days, "IT" steps on "YOU" !!!

said Kev on May 30, 2008 3:45 PM.

The guy ran so fast he left skid marks.

said E on May 30, 2008 3:45 PM.

The race is not always to the swift, or the continent.

said E on May 30, 2008 3:48 PM.

Carbo loading? No, carbo unloading....

said pdxme on May 30, 2008 3:48 PM.

"The race is not always to the swift, or the continent."

A tip of the hat to that one...

said Johnny Wright on May 30, 2008 3:50 PM.

Intestinal Fartitude

said curlyelk on May 30, 2008 3:52 PM.

Johnson took the lead with his explosive start.

said E on May 30, 2008 4:01 PM.

The funny thing was that this was the Immodium AD invitational.

said E on May 30, 2008 4:02 PM.

1. Ive never seen chili dog interpreted that way
2. Anyone got a spoon and crackers?

said Jilly From Philly on May 30, 2008 4:03 PM.

I really like that some of these seem to have a Gary Larson/Far Side influence in their phrasing.

One of Seattle's favorite sons.

said Johnny Wright on May 30, 2008 4:03 PM.

While Danny made it to the finish line,
his lunch did not.

said Whcgonzo on May 30, 2008 4:04 PM.

You know what kind of underwear this cat wears?

Ah, Depends.

It's an oldie but a goodie.

said Johnny Wright on May 30, 2008 4:14 PM.

Look, Bob - it's all about context. I f**ing told you to NOT crop the grizzly bear out of the picture!

said EQG on May 30, 2008 4:24 PM.

Some people found the new Nike campaign a tad extreme.

said E on May 30, 2008 4:27 PM.

I dont' want to dump on this guy, but I'm a pretty good runner myself.

said E on May 30, 2008 4:40 PM.

Farting is such sweet sorrow.

said Echowood on May 30, 2008 5:01 PM.

After the first 6 miles of the race, Victor found that he was too pooped to continue.

said Dave on May 30, 2008 5:08 PM.

Quitters Never Win,
Winners Never Quit.
But it's time to stop,
Once you take a shit.

This pic would make a great demotivational poster

said Jamie on May 30, 2008 5:09 PM.

Jake would do anything for attention.

said Dave on May 30, 2008 5:11 PM.

Hellooo Newwmman.

said Dave on May 30, 2008 5:13 PM.

It is an honor just to qualify for a marathon. Everything else is just gravy.

said Don't Swayze Bro on May 30, 2008 5:15 PM.

"Gravy." Ew.

said Johnny Wright on May 30, 2008 5:19 PM.

"Farting is such sweet sorrow."

Echowood swinging a big stick!

said Johnny Wright on May 30, 2008 5:23 PM.

I swear it's a melted Baby Ruth!

said Don't Swayze Bro on May 30, 2008 5:23 PM.

Swayze, gold star for the gravy comment.

said E on May 30, 2008 5:27 PM.

Johnson won this race in a blowout.

said E on May 30, 2008 5:29 PM.

Oh, jeeze, I think I went number three.

said Don't Swayze Bro on May 30, 2008 5:32 PM.

OH MY GOD, SOMEONE PUT SHIT IN MY PANTS!!!

said longcoat000 on May 30, 2008 5:36 PM.

"Number three."

That's amazing. From way downtown ... good! He shoots he scores!

said Johnny Wright on May 30, 2008 5:36 PM.

Jeremiah won that race by a mudslide.

said Dave on May 30, 2008 5:39 PM.

Oops, I crapped my pants!!!
Said Steve-O.

said HI-larious on May 30, 2008 5:39 PM.

Push the button pull the chain
Out comes the chocolate choo choo train.
Or so he thought.

said Dave on May 30, 2008 5:40 PM.

When did I come up with the idea for Depends Active Wear? It's a funny story...

said Whcgonzo on May 30, 2008 5:47 PM.

As a Yankees fan, Truman wanted to show the world what he really thought of the Boston Red Sox running outfit his grandma bought him.

said Dave on May 30, 2008 5:47 PM.

Oh CANADA!

said Dave on May 30, 2008 5:49 PM.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are just witnessing the fall of the Soviet Union.

said Dave on May 30, 2008 5:51 PM.

"When did I come up with the idea for Depends Active Wear? It's a funny story..."

A dinger for Whcgonzo. Upper deck shot.

said Johnny Wright on May 30, 2008 5:57 PM.

2008 National Hot Dog Eating /10K Biathalon bronze medalist.

Trust me, you don't want to see silver and gold.

said Don't Swayze Bro on May 30, 2008 6:02 PM.

2008 National Hot Dog Eating /10K Biathalon bronze medalist.
Damn Swayze, bringing your A game.

said E on May 30, 2008 6:07 PM.

I'VE GOT THE RUNS!!!


Am I the first to write this? How can this be?????!!!!

said Stratoblogster on May 30, 2008 6:58 PM.

Johnson, that was a great race. Come over here and give me hug.

said E on May 30, 2008 7:39 PM.

Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?

It runs in the genes (jeans, get it, haha...yeah, I'm lame)

...or shorts.

said Brent on May 30, 2008 7:40 PM.

"Did I just crap my pants?"

said crap-action-jackson on May 30, 2008 7:48 PM.

I liked it Brent.

You scrappy little tiger, you.

said Johnny Wright on May 30, 2008 7:52 PM.

Torvald mistakenly thought the organizers announced that the race came with a free shart.

said TeaFizz on May 30, 2008 8:23 PM.

Diarrhea... cha, cha, cha... Diarrhea...

said TeaFizz on May 30, 2008 8:25 PM.

I can now die, knowing that George Carlin was wrong, because apparently, I have seen someone taking a shit whilst running at full speed.

said DJ Maniak on May 30, 2008 9:12 PM.

"Torvald mistakenly thought the organizers announced that the race came with a free shart."

Amazing... Just amazing.

said Johnny Wright on May 30, 2008 9:38 PM.

You know, I've heard of scat singing, but this scat racing business is new to me.

said E on May 30, 2008 10:00 PM.

After a long day at work I love to jog home and take a dump, though not necessarily in that order.

said E on May 30, 2008 10:01 PM.

The first annual Chocolate Rain marathon was a smashing success.

said E on May 30, 2008 10:25 PM.

Boom! Three in a row!

The Chocolate Rain killed me.

said Johnny Wright on May 30, 2008 10:40 PM.

Whew, I'm pooped.

said Ron on May 30, 2008 10:58 PM.

I'm number two! I'm number two!

said Ron on May 30, 2008 10:59 PM.

[looking down] I don't remember eating any corn!

said Ron on May 30, 2008 11:08 PM.

June 1993. The day Kurt Cobain hung up his running shoes, decided to grow his hair out, and started a band.

said Dave on May 30, 2008 11:29 PM.

Even though it was the most embarassing day of his life, Virgil still couldn't get that damn "Who let the dogs out" song out of his head.

said Dave on May 30, 2008 11:32 PM.

That damn David Blaine went a little too far this time.

said Dave on May 30, 2008 11:39 PM.

Running tip #7: A generous slathering of leakage liniment will wipe away those pesky leg cramps.

said PooPaw on May 31, 2008 12:46 AM.

Bjorn misheard when the race announcers asked competitors to participate in creating a diorama.

said TeaFizz on May 31, 2008 12:46 AM.

After this race they changed the awards. It's now Gold, Silver, Bronze, - and Brown.

said E on May 31, 2008 12:53 AM.

8th place wasn't worth such dedication.

said Vellocet on May 31, 2008 1:06 AM.

Friends, readers, The Loyal 77;

I'm going to bed because I'm playing soccer in Central Park early tomorrow, but I want to commend the effort today. I have been laughing out loud on almost all of these.

The diarrhea/diorama line was brilliant TeaFizz.

Now, with the comments; I want to cross the century mark before the end of the weekend. 100+ poop jokes. We're nearly there.

Come on planet Earth, together we can...

said Johnny Wright on May 31, 2008 1:22 AM.

Little known fact about GG Allin, he was a world class runner as well as a talented artist.

said E on May 31, 2008 2:32 AM.

My parents always taught me, don't let your handicap (explosive diahrea) stop you from achieving your goals.

said E on May 31, 2008 2:35 AM.

The key to a good race is a healthy colon.

said E on May 31, 2008 2:37 AM.

I can't put my finger on it, but the trailer for Logan's Run Number 2 doesn't leave me with a good impression.

said E on May 31, 2008 2:41 AM.

Welcome to YesButNoButYes,
Where if it isn't going into or coming out of an a**,
We ain't interested;

And following in the comedic footsteps of Wayne's World,
Where every day the word of the day is:
Sphincter.


..

said bellgong on May 31, 2008 2:47 AM.

This year's Bolder Boulder was won by a smidge.

said E on May 31, 2008 3:15 AM.

When the racing community says they know their shit, they mean it!

said E on May 31, 2008 3:25 AM.

Dammit. Don't bring your brown game bring your A game!

said E on May 31, 2008 3:42 AM.

A G.G. Allin reference. Wow.

said Johnny Wright on May 31, 2008 9:34 AM.

Carbo unloading.

said Baierman on May 31, 2008 9:44 AM.

The finish line always had a strange effect on Robert.

said Baierman on May 31, 2008 9:45 AM.

well it's all my mechanic's fault, he told me that morning that my car would run much better after he greased it up.

said etantao on May 31, 2008 11:41 AM.

Gunnar, the surprise victor at this year's race, was merely trying to uphold what he had thought to be a strange tradition when he overheard someone mention that the winner of this race always ended up being some sort of shyster.

said TeaFizz on May 31, 2008 1:30 PM.

"I wonder, do these running shorts come with mud flaps?"

said Echowood on May 31, 2008 3:41 PM.

Claiming his swift victory, Tim misunderstood what it meant to be the first to "cross the line".

said TheStu on May 31, 2008 3:41 PM.

World Record holder in both the Boston and New York Shitathon.

said FISHLEGBOOTS on May 31, 2008 5:07 PM.

100!

That's it for me, you guys have been great. Drive careful.

said Johnny Wright on May 31, 2008 5:25 PM.

"Wow! That guy is fast as shit!!!"

said Nudgie on June 1, 2008 12:59 PM.

Hey guys,

This is the original album cover for Crystal Gayle's hit song "My Brown Eye Blew..."

said bobby on June 1, 2008 3:25 PM.

Shitty.

said mohnjceachern on June 1, 2008 6:29 PM.

I've seen the pic before, but I loved your comments!

said Therapeutic Ramblings on June 2, 2008 12:18 AM.

The field testing for Gatorade's new flavor, Picklez 'n' Prunez, weren't going so well.

said PootsworthIII on June 5, 2008 9:01 AM.

A little late here but...

The race was for a colon cancer awareness group.

said Jeni Gump on June 29, 2008 3:52 PM.

The down side of carbo-packing.

said G on July 17, 2008 9:22 AM.

i am going to kill my sister for hitting me with that mud pie while i am running ! it threw my stride off !

said nogard0 on September 17, 2008 1:36 AM.
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