This is just about the craziest thing I've read in the last 20 minutes. For you punks too lazy to open up the image, it's a police blotter with the following crime:

"A 38-year-old Cole Avenue man reported that his home was invaded on Sept. 9. The man said he was sitting home alone masturbating and watching a pornographic movie when a man came down into the basement, holding a gun, and started to videotape him. The man said that before he left, the intruder fed his dog some mushrooms and the dog died."

This is why I never leave my apartment.
(From Reddit)