A woman complains to the local news about her seriously flawed, droopy butt implants. Anchors can't hold it together, I don't blame them.

My Sundays are reserved for sleeping until noon, brunch, and then practicing my Aikido in Central Park with my Lithuanian stable boy Haraldas. But when you spend your ENTIRE Sunday waiting for a couch that never comes, you begin to understand why the whole world is against you.

Thanks to Grow-A-Brain, I’ve found another bacon resource. Skulls and Bacon is a blog about skulls and bacon and muppets and music. That’s a keeper. A recent post features bacon-flavored rolling papers, exactly the kind of thing we need to keep up with.

Hmm, I wonder what Mommy does for a living?

Remember to shoot for the head!

Read the full report here.

File this under things not to do when you're on drugs....

Seems local resident Nicholas Hadzick let off some steam in Lancaster, PA, first trashing the Willow Valley Resort then moving on to Darrenkamp’s Market. But what made his rampage truly unique was he was completely naked. He was smoking a cigarette however.

More on this after the jump.

Our second booty installment. Now with lots more meat.

Well, we knew Spitzer was gonna take a hit this weekend. What did you think? I thought the opening bit was pretty weak. So much to work with, and that's the best they could do? They follow it with a song in the monologue...not funny. Add lame Magruber and game show sketches, and I was thinking this could be one of the worst shows ever. But then, Jonah Hill makes out with Andy Samberg's dad, and all is forgiven. After that, they blast Spitzer on Weekend Update. And the capper was Lorne Michael's proving the show isn't pro-Hillary by letting Tracy Morgan go on a Barack rant. All things considered, a pretty good show.

All three clips after the jump.

Buy me some peanuts, some crackerjack...and a bold, little cabernet with a solid nose and a 287 batting average. Jorge Posada and Bobby Abreu have joined a number of other major leaguers in lending their names to charitywines.com, with proceeds going to their respective charities. Booze for a good cause...I'm all for it.

- No one to drink green beer with today? You need a virtual girlfriend quick.
- The Riches is back tomorrow, and they're having an auction to celebrate.
- It's dated, but I don't really care. Anne Coulter's credit card was declined.
- The 10 most eccentric items ever auctioned online...some pretty funny stuff.
- And megafan Mel from Flight of the Conchords has joined The Daily Show.