Yesterday we featured the bizarre story of a very strange break-in, and that story got linked to by BoingBoing. But frankly, that story has nothing on this.

In Wichita, Kansas, the Sherrif's department were called to aid a woman stuck to her boyfriend's toilet seat. But she wasn't wedged, or glued, or the victim of some bizarre stapling accident. No, it turns out she'd just been sitting on the same toilet seat FOR TWO YEARS before her boyfriend decided it was about time to call the police, and her skin had just grown around it.

(The boyfriend) told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom. And her reply would be, "Maybe tomorrow"....According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom.

Now - believe me, there are times when all when women take an exceedingly long time in the bathroom (considering they hardly ever take in reading material), but two years?? That's one mother of a dump.

(via Simply Left Behind)

I've had a weird couple of days at the mercy of unfathomable corporate decision-making (and those of you who read this blog who know why, know why) but all it took was this clip to remind me why I love being able to show you all stuff like this. (via Noah Brier)

I always thought humans were worthless glutens sucking up valuable resources meant for the coming alien infestation. But after stumbling upon this site perhaps my positive outlook is all wrong.

HumansAreCool is an experiment launched to change life on earth. And by that I mean, it's got content for you to enjoy. So far the site features The Touch Crusade, FutureMe and Package Me.

FutureMe is a reality TV show that premiered tonight on MTV. (No, not that MTV. MTV Holland and MTV Belgium.) FutureMe takes people stuck in a career they never wanted and gives them the opportunity to start over in the job they desire. (Current openings include Governor of New York State.)

An out of work Frankenstein
The "Bwa-haa-haa" era of the Justice League
The return of the team that's not a team
A comic book history of comic books
And it's Gumby, dammit!

Every Wednesday we run down the 5 most interesting comics or graphic novels coming out for the week.

"A 38-year-old Cole Avenue man reported that his home was invaded on Sept. 9. The man said he was sitting home alone masturbating and watching a pornographic movie when a man came down into the basement, holding a gun, and started to videotape him. The man said that before he left, the intruder fed his dog some mushrooms and the dog died."

Despite the sci-fi pedestal he is often elevated to, Patrick Stewart is just like most mortal men. From the TV series Extras.

(via Cynical-C)

I needed some cheering up this morning. Thankfully the fine folks at FancyPipes turned me onto this funny 3 inches of Bloodsport quickie.

In this parody of the Guinness Tipping Point ad, a fart sets off a delightful chain reaction.

- Skittles folks make tasty candies, and really surreal commercials.
- Betty White has a big old briefcase of cocaine...she's a funny lady
- For the big game hunting challenged ...robotic hunting trophies.
- Seven conspiracies that actually happened. Fun, and informative
- And the Internet t-shirt folks lost no time having fun with Spitzer.