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Top 10 Women in Video Games
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My last entry on video games caused quite a stir on several websites. (I didn't create the video game and, in truth, was attempting to show how over-the-top video games have become.) Reading over the various comments, I began to think about great women in video games. And there weren't many. Video games are tailored to adolescent boys, or in my case, guys in their late 20's attempting to hold onto whatever scrap of youth they have left. By catering to this community, you'll find women with top-heavy bodies wearing skin-tight clothes and, more often then not, trapped in a situation that requires a man to come and save them. Where are the women who aren't simply objects in video games?

I spent roughly 15 minutes compiling this list of great women in video games. I was also drunk. So my authority on the subject is less than stellar. However, I'd love to hear who you think should be added to this list in the comments section below.

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#10 Nariko (Heavenly Sword)

It's true. No one should fight while wearing see-through silk. Not only isn't it warm, but it can be distracting to your opponent. Nariko's opponents are men and the things she does to them are almost unspeakable. Slicing, dicing, decapitating, mauling... she's got plenty in her bag of tricks.


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#9 Princess Zelda (Zelda Series)

Yes, Zelda can't keep from getting captured. Yes, she has problems with her kingdom. But there's a lot more to this girl than one would expect. Plus, she knows magic like that chick in Harry Potter. And that's cool in my book.


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#8 Your Mother (Various)

How many times have you thrown your friend's mother's name around while shooting him in the head in Halo? The poor woman doesn't deserve it. And yes, I realize this was a cop-out on my part. Continuing on...


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#7 Jill Valentine (Resident Evil Series)

I know that I sure as shit would shoot zombies. Hell, I have a problem with ice cream headaches. So if Jill Valentine wants to run around Raccoon City with a shotgun, I say we let her.


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#6 Joanna Dark (Perfect Dark Series)

I've never played this game. But a co-worker said she kicks ass and he plays a lot of video games. (Think thumb calluses and addiction to Mountain Dew.)


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#5 Chun-Li (Street Fighter Series)

I know a guy, and I don't want to reveal his name, but this guy would always choose Chun-Li when we played Street Fighter II. Without fail, he'd breakout her spinning kick/helicopter thing and kick our asses. The thing with Chun-Li was that you always thought she was innocent, until she kicked you in the teeth, grabbed you by the balls, and sent you flying into a crate filled with chickens.


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#4 Samus Aran (Metroid Series)

You battle through a dark alien planet, fighting off beasts, jumping up walls, and by and large kicking a whole lot of ass. At the very end, when you take off your helmet, it's revealed that you're a girl. And that, my friends, was a great way to end a video game. Samus is in league with Ellen Ripley for intergalactic badass-ness.


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#3 Lara Croft (Tomb Raider Series)

Top heavy? Check! Little to no clothing? Check! An ability to encapsulate all that I loved about Indiana Jones and putting it in a female's body. Check! Lara, you may have kicked off the big breasted video game babe craze, but you were a pioneer. You were like Susan B. Anthony, if, you know, she liked to shoot guns and loot caverns.


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#2 Princess Toadstool/Peach (Super Mario Series)

Say what you will about the Princess, but she's had the same guy (and sometimes his brother) come to her rescue about 327 times. Any girl that can make someone jump over evil turtles and lava pits has to be worth something. And if you want to get into the "expanded universe" of things, the Princess can still out drive me on the golf course.


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#1 Elena Fisher (Uncharted: Drake's Fortune)

Elena is a new comer to the world of video games. And she takes the top spot for a mixture of several things. First, she's tough. She's thrown more bullets into bad guys' heads than an early 90's movie about South Central. Second, she's cute. Yes, commenting on her physical traits does lead to objectifying women, but at the same time, Elena isn't fake... well, in terms of appearance anyway. She's got normal proportions, she stays clothed throughout the entire game, and she seems like someone you'd know from college ... if your college was the Universidad de Hotness. (Sorry, I let that one get away from me.) Finally, she's fun but with attitude. Played with smarts and a dry wit by Emily Rose, Elena throws verbal jabs and quick jokes into every situation. And while there's a little bit of the damsel in distress in her, you know she'd be the first one to drive a jeep through the jungle while you're firing rockets at pirates on ATVs driving behind you.
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7 Comments

You mentioned Halo. Where's Cortana?

She's not real, even in the game, but she surely is a kick-ass feminine character.

said CONAN9845 on February 26, 2008 10:31 AM.

Yuna from Final Fantasy X

said Anon on February 28, 2008 2:10 PM.

If anyone seriously finds those computer images sensuously appealing, he needs, really, really needs, critically requires,MUST GET time outside, away from parents' den or dorm room, OUTSIDE with actual human females.Beach and beer and books also recommended.

said Jack O'Bartree on February 28, 2008 4:28 PM.

I wouldn't go so far as to use Yuna, but I would like to suggest Ayla from Chrono Trigger and Terra from Final Fantasy 3 (or 6 in japan). Also Kid from Chrono Cross if you want to get into the non-pixel characters only. Ayla is super-strong, is the chieftainess of her village of badasses, and she's a hott blonde. Terra was the main character from Final Fantasy 3 and knows magic like no-other. And Kid was a bombshell in her own rights, talks trash and always tries to fight her way out of everything.

said Skyl on March 3, 2008 1:36 PM.

Ada Wang from Resident Evil would have been one of my top choices. I would have put Samus Aran higher as well, but this is your list. I would have also put in Alyx from Half-Life 2.

said anonguest2 on March 31, 2008 9:56 PM.

There's missing few VERY important female characters... For example, you didn't mention ANY of the girls in Final Fantasy series like Rinoa, Rikku, Yuna, Fran, Aeris, Tifa, Lulu... the list is endless, but I think you should at least have mentioned Rinoa...

said gamergirl89 on May 25, 2008 5:28 AM.

big fan of lara croft... if only she had smaller boobs... i'm guessing she's a D cup....

anyway, you could've included Zoey from Left4dead. she kicks zombie asses...

said andrea on March 30, 2009 11:30 AM.
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