Every year Hollywood turns out cinematic masterpieces. Works destined to be claimed as shining examples of art in its purest form.
This article isn't about those movies.
Instead I'm here to tell you about the dark side of Hollywood. The films spawned by the mindless corporations who are just looking to make a fast buck in the sleaziest way possible.
Thanks to some unhappy campers I've got the goods on cesspools of entertainment that will, sadly, be coming soon to a theater near you.
Read on my brothers and sisters, to learn about the horror that is Beethoven 6!
Evidently the mine still hasn't run dry on the Beethoven franchise as film #6 (yes, 6!) began filming this week. Starring the bald headed evil guy from Heros, it tells the behind the scenes story of what happened during the filming of the 1st Beethoven film.
And that basically involves the dog knocking over a lot of food. Over and over again. Now, that's a fucking comedy goldmine.
But what does the director think?
"We've got all of these actors, but the star of this thing is the dog. We have to have more shots of the dog. The first Beethoven was genius, because it was all about the dog. People love this dog!"
Later: Director "Did anybody even see Beethoven 3?" Dog Handler, "I didn't even see it."
On a sadder note, one of the dog doubles died on his way to the set last week. That's right kids, the movie is killing dogs for your entertainment.
Work on shit films? Got a horror story you want to share? Send us your drama! Anonymity guaranteed.
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I think your blog is hilarious, but your abuse of apostrophes borders on criminal.
You right. I've had this on/off love affair with apostrophes since I was a child. I just love putting them into awkward positions and letting them hang out in weird places. I'll try to do better in the future, I promise.
I'm sorry, I clicked here expecting an article and instead I found 8 lines of text. nice job guys.
Ditto repenttokyo's sentiments. The introduction leads one to beleive this would be the talkes of someone who actually worked on the worst of hollywood. Instead we just learn a dog died.
Am I the only one who thinks Beethoven 3 is the funniest movie ever?