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Haterade's Idol Anal-ysis (Round of 20 Men) - 2/26/08

It's time for some more anal-ysis. Haterade and the the Cuckoo Clock return to tell you what they think of the singers, in their own wit, style and (lack of) charm.

We're back to start week #2. Gordon 'Haterade' Pepper and Jason 'Cuckoo Clock' Block return after 6 days hiatus.We're doen to 10 guys, after 'Leif' Garrett Haley and Colton 'Rasp' Berry got booted. No more nerves. No more flu. No more excuses.

Last week, we had the 60's. This week, we have...the seventies. Simple.

Michael Johns
plays tennis to relax. He says he was competitive in the amateur division. He decides to go his own way by singing 'Go your Own Way' by Fleetwood Mac.

The Good - He can sing something else besides 'Light My Fire'. Yay. He hits the pitches and is in tune.

The Bad - I HATE the tremolo in his voice. It makes him sound affected. Not a great song choice, as I don't know how many people remember that song from the Fleetwood Mac catalogue.

The Jason - A HUGE step down from last week. Bad song choice, bad execution.

The Verdict - I agree with Jason. Simon calls it a 'coasting' performance and a weak choice of song - and he's absoutely right. He'll be safe, but in this stage of the game, the objective is to get an audience, and not sing a song just because you wanted to sing it. Not a smart move for Michael.

Jason Castro has a problem with interviews. Hopefully, he won't have a problem with 'I Just Want to be Your Everything'

The Good - His vocal range sets in nicely with the tune. The guitar sounds cool and the arrangement sounds nice.

The Bad - With that arrangement, I couldn't tell what the song was until the chorus. Once again, the guitar masks the warbly voice. Not every week is going to be a week that he can use the guitar.

The Jason - A little pitchy, but kudos for taking a group song and doing it solo. Good job.

The Verdict - I agree with everyone. The judges didn't like it and called it schmaltzy. He did take a good risk, and he'll get past this week, but he's not going very far if he can't shed the guitar.

Luke Menard is part of an acapella group called Chapter 6. If there is any chance that he has to take advantage of other's mediocre singing, it's now. He'll sing 'Killer Queen' and hopes that he didn't kill his own chances.

The Good - A much better song choice then last week. At least I recognized the song choice...

The Bad - ...but will anyone else? He was also pitchy all over the place and the facial features made him look like he was in pain when he sang it.

The Jason - Again, this is about a passionless as vanilla ice cream with Mayonnaise on white Bread. He is out this week.

The Verdict - This is my first disagreement with the judges, who thought he was good. I think he's in serious, serious trouble. He's going to really need a combination of Chikezie, Jason Yeager or David Hernandez to royally mess up for him to survive the week.

Robbie Carrico wants to be me...I mean him. He is me (well not me, he is Robbie), while Robbie adds that there's different styles of rock and tells SImon to get used to it. Them's fighting words. Robbie, who gets into drag racing, also looks to get into Foreigner's 'Hot Blooded'.

The Good - Finally, someone who selects a good song. He also makes love to the camera and emotes to the lyrics. Smart move.

The Bad - Randy says that he doesn't have enough opmph for a rock voice. I agree. I warned you not to go into heavy rock. The pitch wasn't there for the second third of the song. And it felt like the song slowed down - or the energy slowed down, which is not good. And don't argue with Randy. And the white shirt made him look like he was singing in Axel Rose's pajamas.

The Jason - This is in his wheelhouse alright, but this performance feels flat. He will go through, but he didn't do himself any favors tonight.

The Verdict - A number of problems with this performance. Robbie sang a song too heavy, he sang it flat and he sang it pitchy. Worst of all, he sang it too safe, and if David Cook sings circles around him later on this evening, the rock vote will float to him, which could leave Robbie in a spot of trouble this evening.

Danny Noriega used to be in a punk rock band. He's now singing and based on what I've listened to so far, I'm looking forward to hearing this performance, Vote For The Worst be damned. He goes Carpenters on us tonight - that would hopefully be the band, and not a scream that you would find in a John Carpenter movie.

The Good - Wow. I'm surprised. Decent rendition of the song, bordering on good. Like Ramiele last week, there was some flashes of nice tone in there. The clothing fit the song. Chikezie, please take notes.

The Bad - Watch out for that tone. If you don't pay attention to it, you'll wind up in trouble. When he wasn't going for the money notes, he was flat.

The Jason - Singing a song I don't even know...and in a weak, pitchy style....doesn't do you any favors. What is happening with the guys tonight?

The Verdict - Maybe its just me. That was my favorite performance of the night so far. Or maybe it was just because everyone else sucked so far. Either way, Vote for the Worst may need a new spokespersn, because he was not the worst singer of the night.

We start the second half of the show with David Hernandez , who was also a gymnast. He's looking to flip you over to vote for him with 'Papa Was a Rolling Stone'

The Good - Hernandez absolutely needed to show up - and he did. Nice rendition of the song and great job with the money notes.

The Bad - Way too much smoldering to the camera. The jacket, adding with the verbal talking (which was bordering on campy) made him look like a Latino Huggy Bear Pimpster.

The Jason - Thank you, Mr. Hernandez for bringing life to the show. This rolling stone gathered no moss. Very good stuff.

The Verdict - Ok. THAT was the best performance of the evening. He finally told a story and wasn't bland or boring. Not only does that get him out of voting trouble, but it could send some people who I thought would be safe this evening down there in his stead.

Jason Yeager could be one of those people if he doesn't step it up. he plays the piano and drums. He wants to find a killer song to add instrumentation before finding a song. He chooses 'Long Train Running' by the Doobie Brothers.

The Good - I LOVE this song. Great selection (since the song was remade by Bananarama, so the kids would know it). And he no longer has that Vanilla Ice look in his hair.

The Bad - I used to love this song, until Jason mutilated the high notes. And what in the world was that dance bongo whatever the heck thing at the end?

The Jason - Better success on the group to solo risk/reward thing. But did he do enough...not sure.

The Verdict - The last time someone had 'fun' like that was when Bobby Bennett sang a brutal rendition of 'Copacabana' in season 5 and promptly got booted. I'm expecting history to repeat itself.

Chikezie got his name from a Nigerian dialect, meaning 'Something well-created by G-d'. He hopes to shed the 'Cheesy' label by singing 'I Believe' by Donny Hathaway. His daughter is one of the back-up singers.

The Good - MUCH much better vocal than last week. He actually listened to the judges and put on a nice performance.

The Bad - The dancing...uh, that was that dancing or gravity pushing him forwards? Don't go talking back at Simon either. Not very endearing.

The Cheesy Chikezie - Ok, singing your name in the middle of the song, and pointing to Simon during the song? Very cheesy, Chikezie.

The Jason - I dont know the song, but he is bringing passion to it.

The Verdict - A much better performance this week than last week. He was on the fire plate about to be roasted and he knew it. The trip to the bottom two was a wake up call and he answered the bell.

David Cook is a puzzle geek. He brings his guitar with him to sing 'All Right Now' to hope that he can unwrap the riddle that is the enigma of the song.

The Good - Now THAT'S rock. That's how you sing rock. And that's how you use your instrument - as a complement instead of a masker. Great choice of song and great vocal complement to it.

The Bad - The guitar, however, wasn't always on tune with the voice - and be careful with it overshadowing the band. And don't argue with Simon, who says that the video didn't do him any favors - because it didn't.

The Jason - This is all right...and puts Robbie Carrico in deep deep trouble.

The Verdict - Yes it does. David Cook is the rocker and that was a solid performance...until he jabbed back at Simon. It won't hurt him now, but it could hurt him later.

Finally, David Archiueta got to sing in front of the Season 1 American Idolists. What he didn't say was that he won Star Search after that, but who's counting?

The Good - VERY risky song to take a shot at, but a completely different rendition makes it sound great. He absolutely nailed the song.

The Bad - Not completely on pitch. Yeah, a great rendition, but a little pitchy when he doesn't sing the money notes. And getting near the end, he was on the flat side on some of said notes.

The Jason - Can we give him the crown now? Great arrangement, great vocals. Best of the night.

The Verdict - No, we cant give him the crown now. There's a lot of singing to go, but that was the best performance of the night. Can he keep that up throughout the competition?

FInal Verdict - I was worried after the first 4 singers, but then came the second half of the show to bail out the first half. Of course, some of those singers from the first half have every reason to be worried...

Trouble - Robbie Carrico, Jason Castro, Luke Menard, Jason Yeager

I think that we can kiss Jason good-bye. Mr. Castro is probably safe, thanks to his guitar. So who leaves - the lite rocker who got blown out by the true rocker? Or the Chapter 6 singer who has issues with Simon? I'll go with the person who has yet to pick songs that 80% of the general populace is familiar with.

Out - Luke Menard, Jason Yeager

(The Jason - Trouble - Robbie Carrico, Michael Johns, Luke Menard, Jason Yeager. Out - Luke Menard, Jason Yeager)

Join us in 24 hours to see if the ladies can do any better.
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1 Comment

Just so you know, your analysis has totally transformed how I watch Idol. Last night during Archiueta's performance, I wasn't thinking "what is Simon going to say?", I was thinking "What is Haterade going to say?"

Seriously. It's a little scary.

said Scaramouch on February 27, 2008 2:28 PM.
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