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Big Penis = Happiness?

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When I asked women what attracted them to a man yesterday, I expected “big penis” to be the most common answer right off, but so far the responses have barely covered that -probably because they are aware that you usually have to be attracted to a guy before you have a chance to find out how much he has.

Guys, is a large penis the most important factor in how happy your life is?


NO! NOT THAT KIND OF BIG DICK!

The March issue of Details magazine has a new article entitled Is Being Well Hung the Key to Happiness? The men they feature seem to think so. Josh lost his job and his money, but he’s still happy, because he has nine inches in his pants.

"If it weren't for his cock, he'd be a hobo riding the trains around the country," Steve says. "It's opened doors for him. Rich women put him up at their apartments. We have friends who have more money than him and are more successful than him, but they all say, 'I want to come back as this guy.' Secretly, we all want to be him."

Is that really the key to your happiness, Josh?

"Are you kidding me?" says Josh (who's 33 now and has started over as a physical therapist). "That's basically my philosophy on life! Whenever it gets bad, I'm like, 'Hey, I got the one good thing!' My ex-girlfriend called it BDS—Big Dick Syndrome. It was hard to even have an argument, because I'd just be like, 'Whatever.' It's an ego thing. Because when it comes down to men, I mean, really, what else is there?"

You have to admit that jobs will come and go. So will money, lovers, your hair... but your penis is well attached. They can’t take that away from you, without committing a felony, anyway.

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We’ve looked at this question as few times before here at YesButNoButYes. The obsession with penises has sparked entire religions.

There’s no doubt that being well hung can make you popular.

When I wrote about Size Matters, it seemed like everyone wanted to post how many inches they had.

Even guys want to get a look at how others measure up.

Y’all want to find a place where you can talk about yours.

Razen was proud of his son’s equipment before he was even born.

So maybe it’s true... when all else fails, you can tell yourself it doesn’t matter, as long as you have a big dick.

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4 Comments

Trust me, it doesn't. You'd think it might, but you'd be wrong. It just makes forgetting the rest of life's troubles a bit easier.

said actor212 on February 20, 2008 2:43 PM.

Are you kidding? It really is quite frustrating to wobble the earth off its axis every time I start talking with a pretty lady.

It isn't a solution to personal issues, it is the cause of global ones!

Also, sorry about the ozone layer. I poked that big old hole in it the last time the Victoria's Secret catalog showed up in my mailbox.

Lunar eclipse? That's me too. Got a bachelor party tonight.

Yeah, Cloverfield? That was documentary footage of, well, you get the picture.

This is NOT a good problem to have.

said Naysayer on February 20, 2008 4:15 PM.

Gives confidence, no more. Appreciate the "my, your cock is huge" comments and get a boost when your gfriend or fuckfriend tells all her gfriends that you have a HC. Much preferable to her showing her pinkie to demonstrate size, but in the end, it doesn't necessarily make you a better lover or more attractive to women, as you don't walk around with your schlong on display. Any guy claiming that the size of his dick is the source of ultimate happiness must have pretty low expectations.


said priapism on February 20, 2008 5:57 PM.

Take my word, it doesn't help. Even in the gay world.

said Chris on February 20, 2008 11:23 PM.
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