Today, Starbucks will close every one of its 7,100 US-based stores from 5:30 to 8:30PM for a nationwide barista training session. Training will include general iPhone maintenance, spotting knock-off Louis Vuitton handbags, and giving directions to the nearest spin classes.
Coincidentally, Dunkin Donuts plans to take full advantage of the situation.
So what's that 171 Starbucks in a Day guy gonna do?
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The Onion predicted this years ago:
Starbucks To Begin Sinister 'Phase Two' Of Operation
March 14, 2001 | Issue 37•09