First a tale of the tape. Born in 1968, Rachel's approaching 40 but you'd never know it from her charming, bubbly personality. She's exudes energy, passion, fun and confidence. Obviously she's likable and approachable but she's also got the looks - MILF-ishly hot. She even did a spread with FHM magazine a few years ago. Finally, she doesn't really take herself too seriously. Which is good, cause I won't either.

And now the Top Ten things Rachel Ray could endorse, pitch, support, next...

10. Polident

Who better to follow up original spokeslady Martha Raye than Rachel Ray.

9. Presidential candidate Fred Thompson

Just look at the man. He needs help. Super positive, ultra bubbly, never quit help. Big time.

8.

She keeps pitching Ritz crackers and donuts she'll be the next Kirstie or Valerie.

7. Red Bull

The Rach is a busy lady no doubt. If she's not running on meth, she's certainly got be downing Red Bulls like water. Maybe it toughens her image too.

6. Ritalin

How she survives when the camera's are off and the Red Bull wears off.

5. Oprah

A friend, talk show rival, and media mogul. It makes little sense which is why I like it.

4. Jimmy Dean Pancakes and Sausage on a Stick

Jon Stewart rips this stuff all the time and certainly a product that sounds this ridiculous needs a shill who can make it appear "Yum-O."

3. Ear plugs

Any and all types. The reason should be obvious.

2. Bisphenol-A

Haven't heard of this lovely chemical? You will. It's in everything and it's starting to get banned by everyone. From baby bottles to grocery bags. The Plastics Council could hire Rachel to smile about it and stem the tide of impending lawsuits. Bisphenol-A "So Delish!"

1. Olive Loaf.

Looks bad. Taste bad. Needs a lovable, cuddly spokesperson to promote it badly.