Shopping for loved ones is hard, especially when the closest relationship you have is with the guy at the subway station who wants to tell you about bringing Jesus into your life. And truthfully, you can only give so many homemade Ernest Borgnine macaroni collages before people begin to notice. So this year, I wanted to do something different. Something that says I’m a man of the people. Something that says, “hey, thanks for the sex, but I can do without the Coney Island at low tide crab infestation.” And I found it at Dear Diary.

They specialize at saying what’s on everyone’s mind. They’ve taken the Keymaster/Gatekeeper euphemisms and put them into visual representations … on underwear. Get some for your mom, you and the milkman know she'd love a pair.