Editor's Note - Homeless Frank lives in front of the building where I work. I pay him food in return for blog entries. For this one he got a bottle of Snapps and a Butterfinger bar. I've corrected spelling and grammar; all thoughts belong to Frank.
Today Homeless Frank shares his thoughts about the latest problems of O.J. Simpson.
Stupid motherfucker can't help himself. If you kill a bitch and get away with it you don't go back and steal shit. He's working backwards. You already scored a fucking touchdown, you don't need to go back and try for a two point conversion.
When I steal shit from the Korean you don't see me going back the next day and trying to score again. I lay low. This stupid son of a bitch should have left the country years ago.
You know the Korean got rats in the grapes? Swear it's true. Rats eat the grapes cause they like smart food. Grapes got some sort of vitamin that helps your brain. City rats got smart eating them grapes. That's why you never see whores eatin' grapes. Whores don't need smart. Need a fucking beating sometimes.
Sure as shit O.J. gonna be doing time for this dumb fuckup. The man don't give second chances. He let you get away with murder you better hunker down and kiss his ass while you shine his shoes. You don't do that then you deserve to have the Korean beat you over the head with a broomstick.
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you know, this section just isn't funny, and it never has been. it tries waaaay too hard.
Repenttokyo, you're certainly entitled to your opinion but here's mine. To me, Frank represents a great deal more than what can easily be taken at face value. An old saying goes, "If you want to know how you're company is operating, just ask the guy who sweeps the floors". Frank's succinct street level view of life is a Mag-Lev train right to the everyday life and thoughts of regular people and I think a bit of him lurks in all of us when we're subjected to the unrelenting coverage of our "stars" misbehaving. On one end we have the media pumping out info on Paris Hilton every time she moves a bowel and here we have Frank to balance the equation as the best spokesperson against this type of hype. I'm not technically against either... it's all merely entertainment... something to flip through for a chuckle. But to be sure, one of the funniest god damn things I've ever seen was receiving a text message from Frank to let us know that, "Bitch stole my left shoe." This far outweighed the mediocrity I was dealing with that day and in a way... it represented many things that were taken from me. It's funny, profound and heartening just like an episode of MASH. So if you get a little too close to Frank and don't like the smell... watch him (and the rest of real life) safely from a distance using Google maps. But the fact is that we're all just like Frank as we muddle around trying to get by. He's a perfect example of how life can be a cruel bitch... but fuck it... have a laugh at it all.
More homeless Frank.
dude, homeless frank isn't real.
definitely not real. never has been. nice idea, tho.