"Eastern Promises" **** (out of four): Like it or not, the Russians have their very own "Godfather" with David Cronenberg's dark, brutal thriller about the inner-workings of London's Russian mafia featuring another powerful performance by Viggo Mortensen.

Raimi, Jackson, Cronenberg. How is it that one-time horror directors are becoming some of our best filmmakers? After driving the tongue-in-cheek "Evil Dead" series to cult acclaim, Sam Raimi's biggest shock ended up being the depth of 1998's taut fraternal crime drama "A Simple Plan" (later, of course, he would go on to helm a franchise about a certain web-slinger). Meanwhile, Peter Jackson was making goofy, gory schlock like "Dead Alive" before taking the reigns of a little trilogy called "Lord of the Rings". And now David Cronenberg - the one-time director of horror classics (and not-so-classics) like "The Fly", "Dead Ringers" and "Scanners" follows up his meditation on brutality, "A History of Violence", with "Eastern Promises", a deep, dark Russian-infused masterwork. Unlike 2005's "History", "Promises" doesn't aspire to be anything more than what it is. And what it is happens to be a brutal, taut thriller about the inner-workings of the Russian mafia in London.

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"The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" ** (out of four): Unforgivably slow and over-titled attempt to dramatize the ignoble murder of the notorious outlaw features a fine performance by Casey Affleck as Ford.

To paraphrase a character from Brad Pitt's past: The first rule of villainy is to be careful of who you trust. Few people exemplify that better than Jesse James who was famously shot in the back by a member of his own gang, Robert Ford. As dramatized in the unforgivably slow and over-titled "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford", Ford was a dangerously doting lackey. There is a tradition of obsequious, slightly effete henchman in films dating back to Martin Landau in "North by Northwest" and continued most recently courtesy of Ben Foster in "3:10 to Yuma". As played by Casey Affleck in the performance of his career, Ford is less Mr. Smithers from "The Simpsons" and more Jennifer Jason Leigh from "Single White Female". He is also one of the few things to recommend about director Andrew Dominik's meandering, over-long film.

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Yesterday, I wake up from a dream. It's one of the few that I can remember a few details from...they're usually just a blur for me. Anyway, I remember planning a party, or some kind of event, and it's toy-related (not too much of a stretch, if you know me). I have this idea to put two or three rows of bop bags (those punching bags kids play with) at the front of the room, so guests have to fight their way through them to get to the event.. Simple enough...a fun, fairly unexpected thing to do in the space. And that's one of the few things I remember about the dream.

So, I wake up yesterday. And on the way to the gym, I see they're setting up for a photo shoot at Union Square Park, and they're using a specific prop in the background. And I stop dead in my tracks...

This is so true, whatever medium you're working in. Everyone's got to put their two cents in, even if it's not worth that much. Flags of the world, with comments from the client.

I've been looking into the whereabouts of past advertising icons for mental_floss. Nothing had me more mesmerized than these classic Crazy Eddie spots, many of which I found at Must-Be TV.

Lots, lots more craziness after the jump.