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Homeless Frank on The Western Heatwave

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Editor's Note - Homeless Frank lives in front of the building where I work. I pay him food in return for blog entries. For this one he got a some ringdings, and a tallboy of Colt 45. I've corrected spelling and grammar; all thoughts belong to Frank.

Today Homeless Frank shares his thoughts on the record temperatures out West.

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Them some hot motherfuckers out there. I got it lucky. I lost a toe last winter to the frost but I ain't out there baking my brain. Hotter than a long tailed cat in a room full of burning rocking chairs. Fuck that shit with a capital F.

Texans got a word for that heat. Call it nutsack sweat. You get so hot you can feel your balls start to get all squishy in your pants. That's a bad feeling. I can still remember the first time I saw a gray hair on my balls. Felt like the goddamn world was coming to an end. Getting old just as bad as having sweaty balls. I had to go into Juarez and spend 4 bucks getting my manhood sucked back to life by a whore named Lucille. Getting old costs money.

I bet Lucille is still out there, probably sweating on somebody else's balls. Mexican whores just don't know no better.

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