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« Domo Arigato, Mr. Scott-o | Main | Lunch Hour Veg »

Homeless Frank on The Western Heatwave

Posted by Razen on July 06, 2007.

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Editor's Note - Homeless Frank lives in front of the building where I work. I pay him food in return for blog entries. For this one he got a some ringdings, and a tallboy of Colt 45. I've corrected spelling and grammar; all thoughts belong to Frank.

Today Homeless Frank shares his thoughts on the record temperatures out West.

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Them some hot motherfuckers out there. I got it lucky. I lost a toe last winter to the frost but I ain't out there baking my brain. Hotter than a long tailed cat in a room full of burning rocking chairs. Fuck that shit with a capital F.

Texans got a word for that heat. Call it nutsack sweat. You get so hot you can feel your balls start to get all squishy in your pants. That's a bad feeling. I can still remember the first time I saw a gray hair on my balls. Felt like the goddamn world was coming to an end. Getting old just as bad as having sweaty balls. I had to go into Juarez and spend 4 bucks getting my manhood sucked back to life by a whore named Lucille. Getting old costs money.

I bet Lucille is still out there, probably sweating on somebody else's balls. Mexican whores just don't know no better.

If you enjoyed this story, read more like it in our Homeless Frank section.

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