83 years ago some random steam engineer thought to himself "ya, this should hold at least till I'm dead."

The wizards of Deadspin got their hands on an internal memo to ESPN staffers covering a wide variety of white-collar minutia. Life inside the Bristol, Connecticut, media giant sounds exactly like life inside any miserable corporate environment. As someone who lists office politics as a favorite spectator sport, this is highly enjoyable.

Here's a taste:

Question:
What qualities do you feel a Leader should possess?

Answer:
For guidance, please review the Leadership Competencies in Performance Connection on the intranet for information on what is expected of a leader. Another good source for guidance is your department's HR generalist.

Question:
Can employees keep the trees that ESPN throws away when doing new construction?

Answer:
No, employees cannot keep the trees. ESPN analyzes all trees and shrubs that are scheduled to be displaced. Once it is determined which trees and shrubs can survive the move we have them bagged, tagged and relocated. Anything left is then the possession of the contractor. Many of the trees and shrubs at the cafe project have been transplanted at Building 4 and other locations on the campus.

Question:
When will the bicycle rack in front of the south door of Building 3 be reinstalled? It was removed last year during construction.

Answer:
The bike rack has been reinstalled.

I know I'm starting to get repetetive, but this show is fucking great. How there's already talk of cancellation is beyond me, but there's definitely a totally love it or totally hate it vibe going on out there.

This week, John lets his true colors fly, once with grammy Rebecca DeMornay (when we realize there a little incest in the Yost fmily closet) and once in the motel parking lot (when my head exploded).

I've posted the entire text of John's parking lot monologue (courtesy of one of the HBO writers). If you don't watch the show, this will be complete gibberish. And if you do watch the show, this will be complete...

One last thing...the "Father" John keeps referring to is God, right? But isn't it too obvious? Couldn't purgatory really be another failed Dharma Initiative. And if the Father is God, they spilled it a little early in the game, didn't they?

PS: The corpse was a nice touch, right?

- Didn't there used to be a mechanical bull in that country place up on Lexington? Well, he's back.
- HBO has put up a fake site for the fake movie just shot on Entourage. Now enjoy the fake trailer.
- Any idea who Mallika Sherawat and Rakhi Sawant are. Well I sure as hell do...well now, anyway.
- The Simpsons marketing machine is a mighty and massive thing. Now Crispin is getting involved.
- And it doesn't stop there. NotCot points us to Simpson Couture in the August Harper's Bazaar.

Primate: n.
1) archpriest: a senior clergyman and dignitary
2) any order of animals including man, apes, monkeys, lemurs, etc.

Ummm...I'd think they were correct Bill.

You know, 10% of the time I actually agree with this dude. But then the other 90% I just think he's such an a'hole.

In this little slice of video gold, Bill compares DailyKos to nazis and the klan...what a dick.