Community Candy Dishes:
That’s a slightly misleading header; I’m all about free comfort food while being submerged daily into the nine-to-six seventh circle of hell. More specifically I hate community candy dishes that don’t have individually-wrapped-for-all-our-safety treats. With the amount of germs swimming around in that thing (see Chapter 2: Dirty Bitches That Refuse to Wash-Up segment) you might as well skip the M&M’s and just go around the office and lick everyone’s asshole one time… and don’t forget the janitor, I know he’s sampled the selection, he needs all the confectionary incentive he can get to keep the garbage properly sorted (Chapter 1).
Until certain people exercise some couth and participate in basic sanitation and hygiene rituals intended for the good health of all of society, the rest of us need to just keep on walking right past those soiled chocolate sweets. Let the Dirty Bitch in the office eat them all, maybe she’ll give herself Hepatitis from her own excrement and she’ll be forced to take a leave. Then we can order in some of those mini candy bars swathed in decorative foil that changes color with the coming holiday seasons… because that really cheers people up.
Typically, aren't articles longer than 200 words? I want my click back.