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My Dream Job

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I was highly amused at Angry About Nothing’s posts on things she hates about working.

See, I deal with none of that. I surf the net for a living. Yes, I blog part time for several sites (mine is not too profitable). One of Stanley Bling’s 50 Bulls**t Jobs. The kind of job you’ve dreamed of. I’m not going to get rich, but so far, I’m getting by. And I get to work at home. The advantages are 1. I set my own schedule, 2. I don’t have to interact with bosses or co-workers, 3. I don’t have to dress up or drive, 4. I don’t have to pay for daycare, and 5. I get to play on the internet all day.

There are some disadvantages, though.

1. I set my own schedule.

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You know the old saying “Work expands to fill the time alloted for it”? Most people clock in for eight hours and get paid for it. If you don’t get all the work done, your boss knows why because she/he is right there. When you work at home, you get paid for what you produce, so you put time in whenever you can to get the job done. Fitting in work around housekeeping, errands, social obligations, gardening, and the kids means I’m surfing at the crack of dawn and at midnight, and every minute I can squeeze in between. Also see #5.

2. I don’t interact with people.

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I know I have friends. MySpace says I have 64 friends, but I’ve only met two of them. I have fabulous extended discussions with interesting people, but they are all typed. I don’t read the paper or watch TV. Every year here, we live with Kemtucky Derby coverage for weeks before the event. This year, my mother-in-law asked me if I’d watched the Derby. Derby? Oh, first Saturday in May.... where did the time go?

I tried to pay my bills this week via the Postal Service. The carrier left me a note that postage was now 41 cents. When did that happen? Mom says “Several weeks ago; where have you been?” Ha! On the net.

No, I don't have to deal with crazy co-workers. I AM my own co-worker, and that in itself can drive you crazy.


3. I don’t have to dress up.

I don’t have to put on clothing at all. Now that school’s out, I never have to leave the house. Or take a shower. Or put on makeup. If I had enough electrical outlets to put the coffee cart near my desk, I wouldn’t even have to stand up. Over time it makes you look like this.
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Considering the proximity of the refrigerator, you must combine that image with this:
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4. I don’t have to pay for daycare.

But I should. Preparinging a one-item post shouldn’t take me an hour, but when you’ve got two kids who are either fighting, hungry, or bored, they tend to demand attention. Mooom, can I check my email? Not right now, I’m working. What are you doing? Writing an article. About what? Um, grownup things. Oh! Can I watch? No. Go away. But I want to learn how to do that! Besides, you said you’d make me some lunch. Give me a minute! Aaaagh!
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Oh yeah, and when you’re a stay-at-home-Mom, you obviously have all this free time to run errands or babysit or volunteer. So people ask you to.

5. I get to play on the internet all day.

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The internet is full of distractions. It’s my job to contribute to that, but I am also a victim. Scanning the headlines at the big aggregators, its easy to fall behind schedule. Oh look! A game about Paris Hilton! I can’t post that without playing it first! Hmm, new video, but I’d better check YesBut to see if anyone else has posted it before. Oh, Razen has a new article! It’s getting later, I haven’t checked my mail, or my groups, or my stats for a while. Better answer this one message. Now where was I going when I got sidetracked by that flame war? Oooh! New Jon Stewart video, gotta watch that. Hmm, this is longer than I thought, but its funny. Oh hell, what was I working on, anyway? And why do I have twelve windows open?

I keep saying I’ll look at the job listings when I get caught up on blog projects, but I never catch up.

My brother gave me a webcam months ago that I still haven't set up. I wouldn't want anyone to see what I really look like with no makeup, torn jeans (or none at all) and bags under my eyes. But Butternut Jelly has a video I can use instead! This is the life of Jhidekim, a professional blogger. It's a very reasonable facsimile for my life. NSFW.

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4 Comments

That was fantastic, Miss C! I work part-time. Three days in the office, two at home. So I have the best (and worst) of both worlds.

said Evil Richard on June 7, 2007 8:02 AM.

Are you saying you don't do any work the other two days? How do you manage that?

said Miss Cellania on June 7, 2007 8:51 AM.

Oh, I should have been more specific. I work for myself the other two days.

said Evil Richard on June 7, 2007 9:13 AM.

LOL...and here I thought life would be easier, working from home. Granted, I don't have kids, and the pet rock is still on a going-on two year vacation from home, so my distractions would be...surfing the 'Net, and the considerable distractions thereon.

After reading your dissertation, maybe I'll just stick to my commute miseries, which in some respects aren't so bad, after all ;)

said Skunkfeathers on December 13, 2007 1:00 PM.
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