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I'm Pretty Sure I Have Mental Issues

I'm moving in a few days to this small little village about 45 minutes by train from NYC.

In preparation I've bought a ton of packing crap and have spent the past few days conducting an experiment to see if I can put everything I own into cardboard boxes for the 1200 mile trip.

It hit me a few hours ago that the stuff I'm shipping is the weirdest collection of junk...no one else would have an ounce of care for this crap.

Honestly, I've got to be the only 38 year old in the world concerned about how to properly package a bottle of pickled Alf...

alf.jpg

Read on to discover the other stupid shit I'm carefully packing up.

barfofamily.jpg

I've always had a fascination with how bad ideas come to life (This would explain my current career in advertising.) The Barfo Family has to be a low point in the art of selling corn syrup to children.

bigfootgame.jpg

I can't wait to use these around my new neighborhood this winter and scare the crap out of people 30 years younger than me.

mrt.jpg

I use to collect Mr. T items in my crazy 20's. I finally sold everything but this cabbage patch doll to this guy. I honestly weighed the pros and cons of putting this doll in the backseat of my car instead of in a box for the movers. Like I said, I have issues.

rodneyand grenades and mr t.jpg

Naturally, once you've collected Mr. T for a while you start looking around for Rodney Allen Rippy memorabilia...and of course what goes better with 70's child actors than grenades?

sadpsykictotem.jpg

There's a good reason I have a big eyed doll, I just forget what it is.

spaceinvadersneedlepoint.jpg

This is the coolest thing I've ever found in a thrift store and I'll be damned if anyone will tell me different. I layered bubblewrap on this like a son of a bitch. Nothing's happening to it.

thundarrmao.jpg

Lame plastic lunchbox to a little known 80's cartoon show? Check. Cartoon statue of Chairman Mao? Check.

werewolf.jpg

This photo sums up my problems. I found it in a dumpster, now it's been lovingly bubblewrapped and boxed away, awaiting a new place of honor in the Hudson Valley.

I thank God every day that I have a wife just as insane as I am. Anyone else would ask pesky questions about priority's.

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7 Comments

What the hell is Barfo Candy?

said Scaramouch on June 5, 2007 1:17 AM.

Oh, man. You have a serious problem. Open a museum in your new town. Then, let us know when you open it. I want to see it all.


Man, I have a serious problem.

said hifidigitalboy on June 5, 2007 1:39 AM.

haha. Hysterical. This reminds me of the David Sedaris story, "Nuit of the Living Dead" He thinks to himself "where did all this stuff come from?"

said Beth on June 5, 2007 1:49 AM.

The trains there are a bit faster than I realized. Close to Mach 5 to cover 1200 miles in 45 minutes. Cool. You hear that warning clang, you really don't want to try to beat the train!

said jeff brock on June 5, 2007 7:23 AM.

Pickled ALF? Awesome. I'd love to see a picture of your evicerated H.R. Pufnstuf, too.

said El Queso Grande on June 5, 2007 8:31 AM.

your'e my new hero

said pete on June 5, 2007 7:41 PM.

Sympathy for The Record Industry doll!

said Rhiannon on June 10, 2007 4:36 PM.
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