I've always had a fascination with how bad ideas come to life (This would explain my current career in advertising.) The Barfo Family has to be a low point in the art of selling corn syrup to children.

I can't wait to use these around my new neighborhood this winter and scare the crap out of people 30 years younger than me.

I use to collect Mr. T items in my crazy 20's. I finally sold everything but this cabbage patch doll to this guy. I honestly weighed the pros and cons of putting this doll in the backseat of my car instead of in a box for the movers. Like I said, I have issues.

Naturally, once you've collected Mr. T for a while you start looking around for Rodney Allen Rippy memorabilia...and of course what goes better with 70's child actors than grenades?

There's a good reason I have a big eyed doll, I just forget what it is.

This is the coolest thing I've ever found in a thrift store and I'll be damned if anyone will tell me different. I layered bubblewrap on this like a son of a bitch. Nothing's happening to it.

Lame plastic lunchbox to a little known 80's cartoon show? Check. Cartoon statue of Chairman Mao? Check.

This photo sums up my problems. I found it in a dumpster, now it's been lovingly bubblewrapped and boxed away, awaiting a new place of honor in the Hudson Valley.

I thank God every day that I have a wife just as insane as I am. Anyone else would ask pesky questions about priority's.