ornate line
Some Things I Hate About Working- A Partial List: Chapter 2

See, even retarded kids can do it.

Dirty Bitches That Refuse to Wash-Up:

Since when did the confines of the white-collar workforce become a third world country? I’ve had a lot of jobs in my adventures as a temporary and permanent employee, and this I know: every office in the northern hemisphere has at least one skank who can’t be bothered with the modern inconveniences of using a soap dispenser and running water.

I personally have an easier time understanding how an individual can make it into adulthood without ever learning how to read, than I will ever be able to comprehend the diseased subset of society that doesn’t know you need to wash your hands after coming into direct contact with a toilet, and the excretions that one uses it for.

Stupid people are just the tip of this iceberg with a frozen base of laziness and disregard. There are those that only wash up when someone (like me) is scrutinizing every post-stall move they make. I mean obviously these people know its something they should be doing, pathetically, they just have to be guilted into it. Or individuals that turn the faucet on for the benefit of those within earshot, but instead of sticking their hand under said stream, they just smooth down their hair and walk away (think about that the next time you get smacked by the greasy mane of one of those hair-flip girls on the train, I know I do).

My current place of business, houses multiple offenders. Of approximately 45 women, there are:
-Seven who are apparently unclear as to what you are supposed to do with soap
-Four that just hastily dip their fingers in the stream up to the first knuckle
-And three who don’t even bother to pretend to get wet
From this test group it is not unreasonable to deduce that over 25% of the population at large is walking around seething in the bacteria that stems from fecal contamination.

You know who are, and so do I. I’ve been in the stall beside you, I’ve heard you drop yesterdays lunch, I’ve unfortunately smelled the outcome of that same meal, and then I’ve heard you get up and leave without bothering to visit the sink. You dirty whore I recognize your shoes, and if you touch my pen one more time I’m going to stab you with it. Then as you’re fastened to my desk writhing in agony, I’m going to douse you in a cloud of Lysol Disinfectant so thick you’re going to think you’ve been trapped in a roach fogger for 40 hours. Some may call it assault; I call it my civic duty. You’re welcome corporate America.

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You're a woman, aren't you? Glad to have you aboard!

said Miss Cellania on May 11, 2007 2:07 PM.

Woman, please--you don't even want to know what happens in the men's room.

Actually though, fairly recently I was stating my belief to friends that women's restroom surely had to be cleaner and better-smelling than men's rooms.

I was firmly corrected.

I really don't understand the laziness and displeasure so many adults seem to have about washing their hands. I always wash my hands. Thoroughly. And not just because I've completed some egestive activity, but because one's hands get dirty throughout the day and there, lo, is an opportunity to clean and refreshen them.

said Tuffy on May 11, 2007 4:03 PM.

What's worse is the men who pick their nose at the urinal and wipe their snots on the wall above the urinal. Like I want to see your boogies when I pee, fellas.


said Clutch on May 11, 2007 4:14 PM.

If i walk in a restroom, do my business at the urinal and it flushes automatically, do I need to wash my hands? Why? I didn't touch anything but my skin and I washed that this morning. That is why you will see me NOT washing my hands in a restroom.

I bet you and Howie Mandell would get along great.

said south on May 11, 2007 4:36 PM.

...maybe because you're touching your peen? That's not a good reason? Wow! How hard is it to wash your friggin hands? You touched the door handle to get in, right? Just think of all the guys before you who didn't think they needed to wash up either and grabbed that knob, sick.
And women, why do you pee on the seat and just leave it for the next person like a prize or something? First, how do you pee on the seat?? Even if you hover your aim shouldn't be that bad! Jeez...

said Lamb on May 12, 2007 7:21 PM.

Imagine having to deal with this kind of behaviour AT HOME, every single day. My stepbrothers (23, 21, 20 yrs old) never lift the toilet seat, and enjoy peeing all over it. If they turn on the faucet, it's for wetting their hair (and the entire bathroom, while they're at it). They don't brush their teeth, have dirty plates lying all over their rooms, only wash their clothes when they start to reek, .. I can tell them apart purely based on how they smell.

This is what marrying a second time gets you!

said littlecat on May 14, 2007 7:08 AM.

Poor babies. You should be forced to use a restroom located close to the southern border. Apparently, there's a cultural issue with flushing used toilet paper down the toilet. It's amazing how quickly one can finish up when there's a can full of shit smeared tp in the stall. All the more reason to vigorously wash up and use a paper towel to open the door on the way out.

said texican on September 22, 2007 9:03 AM.
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