A co-worker has the daunting task of playing a post-prom celebration with his band this weekend. He's asked a few of us to come up with words of wisdom to impart on the young minds between songs like Sexual Healing and Welcome to the Terrordome.
This is what I've come up with...
Volcanoes are nature's zits
Did you ever feel that Beeker was an under-rated, yet vitally important member of the Muppets collective?
Laverne & Shirley was nothing more than a mass-produced social commentary on the dichotomy of good verses evil.
Your night is in the hands of a man who attended five proms; two of which were with my mother.
If you came to the party for an N*Sync cover band, then you came to the right place.
If you want the rainbow, you've gotta put up with the rain - do you know which philosopher said that? Dolly Parton. And people say she's just a big pair of tits. (Thank you Mr. Ricky Gervais)
You shouldn't drink tonight. Drinking only makes you better looking, instills confidence, and makes you fun to be around.
How many of you touched a breast for the first time tonight?
And now something from Little Steven.
Tile grout will give you an excellent high and is mostly undetectable by police breathalysers.
If you were asked to be a cover band for a post-prom celebration in suburban Connecticut, what sort of advice would you give the students? Feel free to post your ideas in the comments section below. And yes, that picture above is my Senior Prom picture from '97. Not much has changed in the past ten years.
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Reddit!
When was this taken? Looks like mid-90's?
That was back in the good ol' year of 1997.
did you get some?
As soon as possible leave this tiny state and head somewhere west where you can breath and grow!
Nope I didn't get any, but not for lack of trying.
Thanks a lot Adam...throw me under the bus. Actually this is quite entertaining. :)
Who wants to go skinny dipping?
Tonight will be a special night for many of you. Some of you will conceive your first child tonight. Others will merely end up with herpes.