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Homeless Frank On Tony Snow's Cancer

Posted by Razen on May 01, 2007.

homeless Frank4.jpg

Editor's Note - Homeless Frank lives in front of the building where I work. I pay him food in return for blog entries. For this one he got 2 tins of offbrand tuna, a can of Black Cherry soda and a loaf of wonderbread. I've corrected spelling and grammar; all thoughts belong to Frank.

Today Homeless Frank shares his thoughts about the White House Press Secretary Tony Snow and his cancer.

Tony_Snow_cropped.jpg

Poor son of a Bitch got the dark juju slapped on him. Them lies all crawl up inside and fester. Pus and shit and bad blood all congeal and make that cancer. And the motherfucker is right back up there ready to smile away till that cancer creeps up on him and throws him in a pine box.

Mama always said cancer was the devil getting in you. Said if you prayed and got right with the Lord them tumors would go away. Said God will wipe away your sins and cancer ain't nothing but sin of the body. Course Mama didn't know a dollarbill from a dingleberry. All the praying she did didn't stop Daddy from beating her senseless on Friday nights. Dumb bitch.

Tony Snow's like a monkey I saw on tv. Damn chimp saw a candy in a glass bottle, grabbed it and was too goddamn stupid to let go to get his hand out. Hand stuck in there and all he has to do is let that gumball loose.

He needs to be more like a rat. Rats get caught in a trap and they'll chew their own legs off to get out. Tony should be getting those teeth around that job and chewing them chains off. He'd live longer.

If you enjoyed this story, read more like it in our Homeless Frank section.

Reader Comments

Completely inappropriate. That you would even request comments on Tony Snow's cancer. Shame on you. Now go make a donation to the American Cancer society and maybe you can cleanse yourself on this one. (recommended donation: all proceeds from all the ads on this page for page views)

Posted by monkeyboy.

How is it wrong to elicit comments on cancer, but not wrong to exploit the homeless. Rather than giving him food, you hold his dignity as you make him "perform". Uncouth.

Posted by P.

It's fake, anyways. You really think a man begging for 2 tins of offbrand tuna, a can of Black Cherry soda and a loaf of wonderbread is concerned about the health of the White House Press Secretary?

Posted by e.

In Frank's defence, he didn't single Mr. Snow out. He's completely inappropriate to just about everyone.

And I don't think we exploit him. I actually think we overpay. Especially for this one.

Posted by Scaramouch.

Homeless Frank for president?

Posted by El Cerebro.

I'm glad someone else can see this is fake. Geez, give it up. Frank "writes" this crap and you correct his spelling and grammar? It would have been a little more believable if you said you taped him talking and transcribed his ramblings for this post. This sounds like a mediocre copy writer trying to sound like a homeless person talking. Nobody would actually write like this.

If Frank is real, take a new photo of him next time he "writes" for you.

You know, I enjoy this site, but this Frank series is the one thing that I find offensive and annoying.

Posted by William.

Hey William, why don't you just not click on the Homeless Frank stories?

Posted by Scaramouch.

LIES! ALL LIES!

Posted by e.

Incisive, essential commentary on the American political landscape. -- with a rich insight into the medical/religious powerstructure. I tried to post to Digg but either your URL or this story is blocked. What is this world coming to?

Posted by Campfire Steve.

I printed out the comments and gave them to Frank. He's promised a reply soon.

Posted by razen.

omg - why are people so high and mighty? i am sure if these people commenting on the inappropriateness of paying frank in food for him to talk are also the same people opposing madonnas adoption of that african kid.

think about it.

frank gets food
the african kid gets a life.

why the F*CK are people complaining - jealousy? fck off wankers.

oh and about the cancer comment - i dont think tony snow is a nice man but i may be wrong.

and

if we cant talk about cancer to cure it then what should we do - hide and pretend it doesnt exist.

all you losers get a life.

(i do however vote for a new picture of frank)

Posted by al j rize.

All you Frank haters need to leave....no one is forcing you to read...

homeless Frank is awesome..... I'd like to kick it with him for a while.....whisky, weed, wonderbread and sidewalk chalk.....all we'll need

Keep up the awesome honesty Frank

Oh ....and Fuck Tony Snow and Fuck his Cancer too ....ok

Posted by Twitchings.

I don't care what anyone says! Frank rules, and that's that! He can have my two tins of off-brand tuna ANYTIME if he keeps coming up with the funny!

Posted by Mooncity.

EXPLOIT THE HOMELESS! This is America at its finest. None of you bloody care who you exploit, as long as it entertains you. I'm just glad I don't live in the most hated nation in the world.

Respect of other human beings will be the starting point. How do you expect your leaders to expect others, when you don't even respect your neighbor (Frank)

Posted by Chris.

EXPLOIT THE HOMELESS! This is America at its finest. None of you bloody care who you exploit, as long as it entertains you. I'm just glad I don't live in the most hated nation in the world.

Respect of other human beings will be the starting point. How do you expect your leaders to expect others, when you don't even respect your neighbor (Frank)

Posted by Chris.

Mooncity, are you Chris?

Perhaps you're Homeless Frank, or an off-brand can of tuna.

Honestly, fella. I don't know if I should expect you or respect you!

Posted by TikiPundit.