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Desperately Seeking Lisa

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Has anyone seen this Hair Stylist?

A lot of horrible things happened last week, the on-going war, genocide, the polar ice caps are still melting, and a whole litter of legless Chihuahuas were born as a result of greed and inbreeding. None of those however hold a candle to the socio-personal travesty that has befallen me. I lost my hairdresser. She left my salon, and those heartless bastards wont tell me where she went.

The relationship and trust built up over the years between a girl and her stylist is a sacred bond superior in importance to both blood ties and legal marriage. A lesson I’ve had learned the hard way.

I lost my first love of five years after she took personal offense to my sleeping with the boyfriend who had just dumped her. I was young and naïve and took her for granted. I now see the error of my ways. I never should have let a piece of ass come between us. And though I’ve spent the last six years with her Ex, not a day went by where I didn’t wonder if I dropped him… would she take me back?

I knew she was still hurting, but if you want to talk about pain, try waking up with this split-end chaos attached to your head everyday for the rest of your life. I was hoping we could call it even, and pick up the pieces of where we left off. I was thinking a choppy a-line bob with some super short asymmetrical bangs might be a good place to start.

She wouldn’t hear of it. And like so many who have loved and loss, I didn’t think I would ever again find another, and experience the kind of true happiness that results from a perfectly tousled mane, ever-so-slightly tamed by impeccable point-cutting skills and a solid undercut.

Six years, that’s how long it took me to find Lisa. That’s how long it took me to start mending the wounds I so carelessly inflicted on myself with a blunt pair of texturizing shears so long ago. But alas, in her hands, I was young and cute and trendy and envied all over again.

Sadly, my hair honeymoon was cut drastically shorter than my obligatory chin-length comfort level, when last week I discovered that she had abandoned her former post. What had changed my life and my appearance for what I thought was to be forever seemed like nothing more than a couple of drunken one night stands to her.

While trying to wrap my head around any sort of justification she possibly could have had for leaving me and me alone, I tried everything I could think of to get her back. But the receptionist refused to cooperate and reveal her whereabouts, even after I had my boyfriend call and flirt with him for clues (I figured he owed it to me).

The best the unsympathetic little phone-bitch can do to ease my sense of loss is to continually try to schedule me with ‘Heather.’ ‘Heather’ is not, nor will she ever be Lisa. Stylists are not created equal, and they are not interchangeable. I have many a poorly coiffured picture to prove this case. It seems as insulting as a doctor shoving a stranger in your face and trying to pawn them off as ‘just as good,’ immediately after you’ve lost a loved one.

So I tried a Google web search of: ‘Lisa, Hair, New York.’ And lets just say I’m still working my way through the 1,310,000 results, but in the mean time, I look like shit. So this post is my plea, if anyone knows where Lisa formerly of Suite 303 in the Chelsea Hotel is currently trimming her magic, give me her number, or just let her know that I miss her and tell her I’m sorry for anything I did that might have driven her away.

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4 Comments

Beautiful

said Scaramouch on May 20, 2007 11:24 PM.

I do feel your pain. The sacred bonds between a stylist and woman should never be tampered with. I wish you luck on your search. If you cant find Lisa, I can always recommend James from 347 Subiaco. He truly is the best...in Australia at least.

said ejmmf on May 21, 2007 1:51 AM.

I've never had a regular stylist, because anytime I get a GOOD haircut, the stylist IMMEDIATELY finds a better job hundreds of miles away.

said Miss Cellania on May 21, 2007 12:43 PM.

She is at The Beehive Salon in Brooklyn.... On North 7 Street, between Wyeth and Berry.

said kim on August 8, 2008 1:37 PM.
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