Hello teenage girls, I'm the crazy neighbor who made your night a living hell.
You thought it would be a fun time to toilet paper my neighbor's home at 1am. You thought no one would be awake in suburbia. You thought no one would catch you.
You obviously had no idea that the grumpy 38 year old guy who lives next door watches Star Trek at 1am. (Hi, that's me.)
The reason you got busted.
Oh sure, I could have just sat back down on my couch when I looked out the window and saw you pranking the shit out of my neighbor. But what's the fun in that? Would Captain Janeway sit back down if she had some alien species on board Voyager throwing toilet paper around engineering? I don't think so.
So ya, I came out and yelled and called the cops. Of course when you laughed and drove away you thought you had escaped my wrath. (Much like Kirk hid in that Nebula when escaping from Khan)
"TEEEENS!"
But oh no, my little Ferengi tricksters, this starship captain of Newcastle Drive has more than one trick up his polyester Federation sleeve.
Were you surprised when I got in my car and followed you? You shouldn't have been. I was just following the prime directive of making your life miserable. Unlucky for you my communicator (Treo 650) was able to keep the Police updated on your every move.
Your puny teenage craft was no match for my Starfleet 2007 Nissan Murano which followed your warp speed with ease. Was your little teenage brows wrinkled in fear (like a Klingon Targ) when you kept seeing me in your rear view mirror?
Your actions are illogical and must be stopped.
I'm sure you thought pulling into your members only gated community was the wormhole that was going to warp you out of this problem. You didn't count on the security guard hating rich kids, did you?
Did the tears on your cheeks help hide your shame when the police came? Did you come to fear and hate me and my steadfast devotion to all that is righteous and good? You have no honor and I had nothing else better to do than chase you across town.
I firmly believe that I made the galaxy a better place by filing a statement of your actions to the authorities and having your parents called.
Romulans, Cardassians, or teenagers with toilet paper....you're all the same.
Stumble This
Reddit!
That's either really sad or really funny. I can't decide which.
On a side note, can I write an open letter to the jerk-off in the check-out line at Home Depot who felt it was his business to inform me that his children never asked for candy in the check-out line and then told me I shouldn't let my 2 year old have it..? Then said to my little guy, "That's bad, you don't want that..no!". When I informed him I was buying salted peanuts, he said, "They are full of chemicals (he named 'em) and salt and they're processed. Eating those is why kids have allergies today." Mind you, the peanuts were for me! As I was checking out, he carried on further, "Do any of your children have allergies?".
Hey buddy, mind your own damn business. Jackass. Don't fuck with a pregnant lady.
Thank you for the forum, razen.
If my kids did that, they'd be out on the lawn picking up every soggy inch the next morning, after they got out of jail.
i enjoy reading your blog but...
this is a little over the top. let the kids have fun. it's not a big deal. although i do visit the site i must warn you i'm secretly hoping your house gets rolled a couple dozen times for kharma
Don't listen to this "they are just having fun nonsense". I am so proud of you for doing this. So proud.
haha that's awesome!
they got what was coming to them *shakes fist*
That's absolutely awesome.
Let the kid's have their fun?!? Hell no! What do you think us mid 30's farts do for fun? That's right. Harass teenagers.
just think of your guilty conscious if those 'kids' had made a driving mistake and ended up in the hospital while you followed at a high rate of speed. Way to act like a kid and not think things through.
I'm just warning you, if they saw what house you came out of, you're next! Not TP but something else. Sugar down the gas tank, or obscenities written with salt on the grass, or something. As a reformed teen prankster, I know this all too well! It is my duty to warn you, is all. And you chasing them--awesome.
You need to bring the war to them so that they don't follow you home. Teenage girls hate our freedom and they have to be stopped at all costs.
I say, set phasers to kill! Those punk teens are now in a penal colony suffering under the ministrations of Dr. Corby and his mind-draining machine, or so I hope. Mission accomplished!
Set course for our next assignment. Mr. Sulu, ahead, Warp Factor five...
Are you serious lady (Miss Cellania)?
"Let the kids have their fun"
Sure, but at who's expense? Who picks up the soggy toilet paper the next morning? I'm hoping it's Neelix, but it probably won't be.
"i'm secretly hoping your house gets rolled a couple dozen times for kharma"
You, ma'am, are a terrorist. A Cardassian terrorist.
Oops, i meant everyone normal. Sorry for the confusion Miss Cellania!
Let thine toilet paper fly where it may, and if you follow you must be gay.
The reason you still use the words "phaser gun" is because every normal person saw that you aren't fun.
I'm sorry I made you the way that I did, I guessed I screwed up, but stop chasing kids.
Jackass.
Dear Mr.Razen,
I am terribly sorry for the inconvenience that me and my friends put you through. It was a childish prank and we promise never, ever do it again. We wish we could take it back. If it's of any consolation,our parents severly punished us and the police gave us a harsh warning. Once again, we are very sorry. An fuck you, you Trekkie Tard!
Sissy and the Gang
Were these kids all drunk? On meth?
~Clutch
tshirtwebsites.com
great stroy and for those who say let them have their fun, his pursuit changed their night from a story to be told for a week to one that they will be talking (and laughing) about 20 years from now at their high school reunion. Everybody wins in this one
great stroy and for those who say let them have their fun, his pursuit changed their night from a story to be told for a week to one that they will be talking (and laughing) about 20 years from now at their high school reunion. Everybody wins in this one
You'll probably get sued by their parents. I almost did for something pretty similar to this story. Moral of the story is to yell at them and call the cops but honestly, don't follow them or god-forbid touch them. Even if it's holding one by the arm til the cops get there. You'll see the tables get turned pretty fast.
Liem, you have me confused with someone else. I (Miss C) said I've have my kids out cleaning it up. This blog design puts a line between the comment and the person who left it, burt no the sig before, which has confused more than person.
Razen, this may be the most entertaining thing I've ever read on the blog. Absolutely awesome.
everytime i click on the page here at YBNBY, I get shuttled down to the bottom of the page. ANyone else? It's annoying.
everytime i click on the page here at YBNBY, I get shuttled down to the bottom of the page. ANyone else? It's annoying.
Wow Jellio, that's high praise indeed!
web - are you clicking the comments link or the "continue reading" link?
Yes web... it's been like that for me as long as I've been here but I never saw anybody say anything about it. I don't know what is coded into this page but for some reason the form down at the bottom always steals focus.
Browsing this site is sooooooooooooooooo difficult.
That is a realy cool story. If I tried that where I lived, I'd end up getting a screwdriver jabbed in my gut.
I see what the element is now... whenever you click anywhere on the pages it moves the window down to the e-mail address field in the feedback form. It does something similar on the front page.
Can someone email me directly to explain this better so I can fix it? webmaster@yesbutnobutyes.com It doesn't happen on the browsers I've tested it on.
Pranking is a subtle art.
Not getting caught is easy...you just have to be smart and careful.
These kids were neither. Getting caught hopefully will teach them that if they want to do stupid shit, they should do it with a bit more care.
Hopefully they learned their lesson and next time they will pull off a more successful prank...either that or they'll be big pussies and be too scared to prank again. Either way we all win - we either get better pranksters or less shitty pranks.
We need an update. Have you talked to your neighbor? Any angry letters in the local paper? Has a task force been assembled to eradicate teen vandalism, or adult vigilantes?
HAHAHAHA. having had exposure to The O.C., Laguna Beach AND The Hills I do hate such stereotypical whorenuns. Sure, I wouldn't ever do such a thing as follow them and keep track of their every move back to their home then make a star trek based blog about but more power to you! Personally I'd just hose them down. Well your neighbor might had it coming. Ask what he/she did to bring about the wrath of a group of teenage girls.Ever watch mean girls? They're fcking relentless.
Lighten up my high blood pressure Trekkie friend Kids will be kids. By the way, when I got caught with a school friend tp(ing), the cop checked that there was no damage (eggs or rocks) and then just laughed and told us to go home.
We did a magnificent job, blues, greens, whites. Nice school colors tp.
As a Chicago city cop once told me, there's no room for civilians to follow up after a suspect. It's against the law. You, like me, were lucky you weren't cited.
On the other hand, had the infraction been real and no one got hurt, you might have been a hero. For now, you're still just a trekkie though.
Absolutely awesome job. All those people who say "They're just teenagers having fun" are completely oblivious to the suck factor of having to pick toilet paper from the trees, as well as the invincible "holier than thou" attitude that rich teenage girls tend to have. I applaud your determination to give those girls what they deserved - A nice dose of reality. I can only hope that their parents aren't complete morons and brush it off as "Just teenagers having fun." Nice format too...