From today's mailbag:

Dear Webmaster,

Hi there! Forgive the intrusion...On behalf of Anheuser-Busch, we are the agency that handles Rolling Rock beer, and frankly, we need your help....

Dear Agency that handles Rolling Rock Beer (which I like)

No, usually it's not an intrusion - I mean, I could just click delete. But frankly this email from you is so unbelievably lame that you really need to be taught a lesson. Because, one thing I think we all can agree on, is that yes, you really do need my help.

How to wear bacon on your head:

Bacon Toupee.

Bacon Hat.

Bacon Hair Conditioner.

Bacon Head Tattoo.

I'm not a plant from HBO. In fact, my current living arrangements leave me without cable entirely. It looks like the MTA won't foot the bill to have cable installed for us residents who live underneath the 59th Street Bridge. Just because we're homeless doesn't mean we don't enjoy the occasional Sopranos episode.

HBO's newest series, titled Flight of the Conchords is a little bit Tenacious D, a little bit Spinal Tap, and a little bit Office. The full first episode is available for all your watching delights on their official site.

I almost forgot to post this. For anyone following our big interview with Bambi Woods, but hasn't actually SEEN the movie, here it is, with all the distracting naughty stuff cut out, care of Collegehumor.

Although it’s only been open a couple of months, a restaurant in Volterra, Italy has a waiting list for reservations. And you have to go through a security check before you can get in. But that’s nothing, the chefs, waiters, and busboys can’t get out. The restaurant is inside the Fortezza Medicea maximum-security prison.

It’s in Dubai, or will be eventually. They’re calling it the RAK Convention and Exhibition Center.

(via Neatorama)

Bambi Woods - one of the most famous adult movie stars of all time, and one of it's most enigmatic. She burst onto the scene in the 1978 "Debbie Does Dallas", became an international sensation, and then seemed to disappear almost as quickly as she arrived. her final whereabouts shrouded in mystery - in fact many people say she died in 1986 of a drugs overdose.

So, what really happened to Bambi Woods?

Today on the Veg - plane crashes.

On Saturday at Madison Square Garden, my wife and I took in Ricky Gervais' first full-length U.S. performance, as part of the High Line Festival.

David Bowie opened the show with "Little Fat Man," from his legendary Extras cameo ("Chubby little loser, national joke.") We sang along. As crowd-participation exercises go, this ranks atop my admittedly short list, one spot above doing the Tomahawk Chop at Fulton County Stadium in 1991 (I was eleven) and four-hundred places higher than any "Who's Your Daddy, Battier?" chants in Cameron Indoor Stadium ten years later.

Ricky came through with an assortment of his greatest hits – praising Nelson Mandela ("Seventeen years without re-offending. That's proof: prison does work"), looking for the moral in famous fairy tales, and reading from a 1994 pamphlet designed to curb the spread of AIDS in gay men by providing alternatives to anal sex.

There was virtually no mention of the High Line, except a passing reference to the preservation of the rail being "good." I was hoping he'd give 'Friends of the High Line' a good-natured ribbing during his rant against unworthy causes (mainly obesity). And in some bits, the level of raunchiness eclipsed the humor. But the highs were high and hilarious, so I'd be foolish to complain.

Here's a more thorough recap, from The Independent.

Thanks to britishhooligan0 for posting a clip of Bowie's introduction on YouTube, after the jump.

Feeling slightly vindicated today...weeks ago I said AJ wouldn't last through the last season. And while he proved too incompetent to get the job done, being wheeled into the rubber room lookin all stugots is almost as good.

And what about the American History X tribute? Did anyone else turn away?

- Carter calls Bush worst in history, Bush calls Carter irrelevant. Candy calls Paris immature...
- This can't be real, right? They had to set up a camera under the tracks...or be really hammered.
- OK, you have a bee movie coming out, but you also have eleventy billion dollars. Is this necessary?
- I was gonna write a post about being really tired of the throat guy, then AdFreak beat me to it.
- And this weekend's tv funhouse clip was worth it just for Gore's laser show or Barack's real name.