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« Just Do It (Proofread, I mean) | Main | VAGINA POWER! »

Top Ten ways to an Entourage Lifestyle

Posted by Echowood on April 18, 2007.

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As men, we may not be able to agree on things like Angelina or Jen, Drunken Fist or Shaolin, or Beer Pong or Beirut. But the one thing we all agree on- the one thing we all want, is to live the lifestyle represented on HBO’s Entourage.

Vincent Chase and Company lead the lives that all straight-men aged 21-40 desire. As it stands, I’ve never said to my friends, “Hey guys, why not hop in this private jet with me and we’ll head down to Cabo for the weekend.” I haven’t wanted a fictionalized lifestyle this badly since little Ricky Schroder rode a train around his living room in Silver Spoons back in '82.

Here, in no particular order but numbered anyway, are the top 10 reasons why every man in America desires the Entourage lifestyle.

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10. Cars. How many times have you asked yourself the question: Do I want to drive the Hummer or the Escalade today? I’m assuming that’s not a regular occurrence in your life, unless, of course, you’re 50 Cent. Yet, the boys on Entourage have a stable of amazing cars at their choosing. Who wouldn’t want to have a Maserati race with three of their best friends through the streets of Los Angeles?

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9. Ari Gold. Sure he’s an ass, but there’s that lingering suspicion that he’d take a shot in the mouth from his father if it sealed the deal on that script you wanted. That’s commitment. That’s loyalty. Just don't get on his bad side.


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8. Emmanuelle Chriqui. Not only is this French-Canadian easy on the eyes, but her character offered her boyfriend a threesome with her and her super-hot best friend … willingly.

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7. That Golf Video Game. I have no idea what the official name of the game is, but I’d love one for my apartment. It takes up a full wall in a room and you’re required to use real clubs and balls. That Wii that you paid $2,000 on eBay for isn’t looking so great now, huh?

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6. Marijuana. The abundance of pot on this show is incredible. Of course, we don’t’ smoke it. We’re just, you know, impressed.

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5. Los Angeles. Palm trees, swimming pools… this show does for L.A. what Sex and the City did for New York. It glamorizes it. It showcases it in all its glory. There have been many cold winter nights where I’ve watched Entourage, seen the snow accumulate outside, and questioned my choice of coasts.

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4. Drama. (The character not the literary form.) Because every group of friends needs someone you can make fun of behind their back.

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3. The Ladies. Being the casting agent on Entourage has to be the single greatest job in Hollywood. Just when you thought they’ve hit the hotness threshold, they pull out a girl so good looking she makes your eyes liquefy. It’s as if this show had to act as the hotness balance for the entire cast of Roseanne.

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2. The Hook-ups. (The freebies, not the make-out sessions, though those are nice too.) With one quick call, the boys from Queens Boulevard can have anything at their fingertips. Limited edition personalized Nikes? No problem. A birthday party sponsored by Victoria’s Secret complete with a guest list featuring Alessandra Ambrosio? Done. It makes those free dinner tickets I scored at the Sizzler look like nothing more than, well, free dinner tickets to the Sizzler.

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1. The Parties. Remember that piñata your mom got for you on your eighth birthday? You tied it to a tree, gave it some swift whacks, and out came a shower of candy. You thought that was the greatest party ever. Now, imagine that piñata is a fully-stocked bar and instead of a shower of candy, you’re liver is drowning in top-shelf gin and tonics. And you’re at the Playboy mansion. And there are hot women everywhere. And they’re naked. (If your mom is still there, you need some serious help.)

If you enjoyed this story, read more like it in our Top Ten Lists section.

Reader Comments

Hey, if you dont want those free dinner tickets to Sizzler, I'll take 'em.

Posted by MuensterHornwallace.

Wall Golf game on the last few episodes? Any ideas on the name, make, price?

Posted by bryan.

I found out it's called Full Swing Golf and it'll run you about $75,000. The company's website is it's name. (We can't post URLs)

Posted by Echowood.

75,000... that wii is startin to sound better and better...

Posted by Mr. Wasquibl.