Easter is supposed to be bunny rabbits, candy, and and smiling faces, as embodied by the iconic Cadbury Creme Egg -- but scratch below the surface, and an evil conspiracy lurks.
After the jump, corporate lies, video evidence, and outrage...
Cadbury Creme Egg lovers everywhere have been grousing about the reduction in size of this year's crop, but go to Cadbury's website and the FAQ suggests it's not the eggs that have gotten smaller but that you have gotten bigger. Here's an image from the site as of Saturday, April 7:
There it is in black and white -- the eggs haven't changed, they just look smaller compared to your ever-expanding ass.
Now, everyone from Grand Theft Auto gamers to Pearl Jam fans are onto the scam, and the outrage is building. Whoever is responsible had better fess up quick or riots may break out in the streets tomorrow morning.
I'm loading my gun tonight, just in case...
[EDIT: Photo from candywarehouse.com -- in my zeal to alert the world of this grave conspiracy, I forgot to give them a link.]