According to The Sun, which is always reliable in topics of no import, scientists have determined the precise formula for the perfect bacon sandwich.

The Formula

N = C + {fb(cm) . fb(tc)} + fb(Ts) + fc . ta

N = force in Newtons required to break the cooked bacon.
fb = function of the bacon type.
fc = function of the condiment/filling effect.
Ts = serving temperature.
tc = cooking time.
ta = time or duration of application of condiment/filling.
cm = cooking method.
C = Newtons required to break uncooked bacon.

Of course, it was hard work. They probably got a grant for it, too.

Four scientists at Leeds University spent more than 1,000 hours testing 700 variations of the traditional bacon buttie.

Now that’s some research I can wrap my tongue around!