Did you see the past American Idol special? It featured the Idolers singing with their favorite celebrities of all time. It was so poignant that it made me shed a tear. If you missed it (and it was easy too, since I'm sure you all watched the Catminster show instead), I'm here with the recaps and analysis of next week's show.

We start with Ryan telling the audience that no one will be leaving this evening, and that this is a warm-up for Idol gives back. Randy talks about how he is the new UK judge for The X-Factor, Paula continues to gush about Chris Richardson's performance, and Simon warns the celebrities that he may give them all a bad critique. That Simon, what a kidder.

But before we go to the main performances, we started off with some of the opening acts.

Jared Cotter

and
Shemar Moore

Antonella Barba

and
Paula Abdul

Brandon Rogers

and
The Boondock's Huey

As for what they sang....who cares? You voted them all off anyways, so you don't really care. Why should I give 2 shutters on what they sang?

Maybe you cared about him...for the last 4 weeks..

Chris Sligh

and
Jack Osbourne

Chris, by the way, said on exit interviews that he was going to lose weight, so he wants to perform with him next -

Chris HAD to perform, and instead of what he needed to be his best performance ever, he gave his worst performance ever. That will lead to a dismissal. That will also lead to a correct prediction by me, so I'm 11-4 overall and 3-0 under Dial Idol rules. BTW, as what some of you didn't understand is that Vote For the Worst was representing BOTH of them (hence why I said Vote For The Worst would be out - since they are both from there. Get it?). IN the future, I'll give exact names and be less clever.

Oh, and my homeboy Jason Plump from Moonachie, NJ had Phil Stacey, so he's safe. You go, Jay.

So who's safe on Old Standards night?

Melinda Doolittle

and
The mom from Family Matters

All she has done so far is old standards. Now she won't have to think much at all this week. I think she sang Old Lang Syde. Not Aud. Old. Joining her...

Lakisha Jones

and
Mo'Nique

Lakisha sang some sort of R and B song which sounded like every other R and B song. Eventually, she'll sing something that won't sound like it, but then she'll be eliminated and then everyone will blame it on how racist the United States is, just like they did when Jennifer Hudson left, or when Tamyra Gray left, or when any other good minority singer left.

Jordin Sparks

and
Rachel True

Jordin can pretty much sing anything. She'll wind up coming out of nowhere and winning, while the audience said that she was going to win it all along, completely forgetting that they neglected her for the first 3 weeks of the competition when it was the Lakisha Vs. Melinda show.

Blake Lewis

and
Van Hansis

and
Some dude who claims to work on yesbutnobutyes.com

Blake will make the final show - he will be laying down the percussion tracks for the final 2 singers. He'll find a way to overdo a song but will have the favor of the judges, unaware that the song was probably covered in that same style by 311 first.

Sanjaya Malakar

and
Leif Garrett

(Yes, I could have gotten a Michael Jackson photo, but that's just too easy.)

Sanjaya will do what every other wacko that's gotten to the Top 12 did; Make the Top 6, then hang around to see one of the favorites leave, then get booted once the audience gets to their senses, gives their prepubescent daughters a butt-whipping and hides their cell phones for keeping Sanjaya in while Lakisha leaves.

Haley Scarnato

and
Erin Cahill

Haley will not stay in the bottom two for long. The audience will bail her out because without her, there's no hot chicks left. Well, there is one, if youre into goth chicks. Goth chick duet next!

Gina Glocksen

and
Elvira

The good news is that Gina has a great gig when she leaves the show. The bad news is that if she doesn't do even better this week than last week (because of the expected Haley voting surge), then Gina will be gone after dark and will no longer darken the American Idol set.

Chris Richardson

and
Justin Timberlake

This is another person who must show up this week. There will be people voting for Phil and Sanjaya, and that will drain his vote. He was already in the bottom two before, so he isn't that safe.

Phil Stacey

and
Yul Brynner

But if everyone holds serve, and they all sing like they have been, then Phil is leaving. He's been in the bottom 3 twice (maybe 3 times), and the fact that he was betting on himself to leave the show can't possibly help. Plus he sang his duet with a dead dude, which means that he's already predicting what his chances are going to be after this week - deceased.

That's what I got this week, as we end the show with a rousing medley of Kumbaya and a quick group song medley of every Ford Commercial theme. And yes, Happy Debut of the 4th month of the year!

Real reviews show up on Wednesday.

G.