This week, we journey to the genre which has been the favorite-killer: country music. Will there be an upset? If so, who? You may be surprised...

In our first two installments, we've bitched about crazy roommates and traded tales of inappropriate co-workers. Today's topic is raising kids. You don't have to be a parent to participate. Tell us about the hell your kids put you through, or explain where your parents went wrong.

To introduce this week's segment, let me turn things over to the newest member of the YesButNoButYes editorial family, Echowood. Though he's without child, he offered sound advice at an office baby shower last week, advice I'm shamelessly plagiarizing here.

1. Use Crisco as an easy way to get stuck heads out from a banister.

2. It's OK to let your child ride the family dog like a pony unless the dog is a Chihuahua.

3. Don't video tape yourself playing baseball with your child as this will likely lead to you getting hit in the crotch and the tape ending up on television.

4. Always make the lightsaber humming sound when playing Star Wars with your child.

Have I read Lord of the Rings? No. Do I have a copy of the novel that sits on my book shelf so all my smart friends think I'm well read? Yes. In truth, I attempted to read it, but it made about as much sense as an REM song. Obviously, Tolkien didn't take into account those of us more comfortable reading highly acclaimed and gripping James Patterson novels.

For some weird reason, I thought that worth mentioning, if only to open up a debate on the pros and cons. Full pics here. (via WoW)

The Smoking Gun has a copy of the play written by Virginia Tech murderer Cho Seung-Hui. It's called Richard McBeef.

Had I read this before, I'm not sure I'd have fingered him as a mass murderer. But I would have steered him away from playwriting.

Just a few of the highlights:

"You ain't my dad and you know it, you Dick!"

"Man-to-man up your ass, bud!"

"Get your hands off me you sicko! Damn you, you Catholic priest! Just stop it, Michael Jackson. Let me guess, you have a pet named Dick in Neverland Ranch and you want me to go with you to pet him, right?"

"You committed a conspiracy. Just like what the government has done to John Lennon and Marilyn Monroe."

"You want me to stick this remote control up your ass, buddy! You ain't even worth it, man. This remote was five bucks."

"[Out of sheer desecrated hurt and anger, Richard lifts his large arms and swings a deadly blow at the thirteen year old boy.]"

How did Gene Roddenberry ever come up with the grand plan that became Star Trek? Could it be possible that he had some inspiration from extraterrestrials? Did they get a cut of the proceeds, or just the satisfaction of knowing they planted the seed for the Prime Directive? Or could this just all be made up for kicks?

It doesn’t take a whole lot of imagination to make Star Trek into something silly. There’s a lot of silliness going on at Miss Cellania, where the subject is Star Trek today.

Today on the Veg - the genius of Ricky Gervais.

Last week, Haterade correctly predicted all bottom three singers and had the person eliminated in his bottom two. What can he do to follow it up this week?

I had considered this series complete with three volumes, but requests have trickled in steadily. So after regrouping, I began my research anew to find whatever happened to your favorite adult film stars. It’s not easy, because a lot of former porn stars (understandibly) do not want to be found. But I rounded up another eleven!