We've gotten some fantastic stories under the inaugural episode ofYou Show Me Yours. It's a pretty simple concept. I write an anecdote, you follow up with yours.
So, like any show desperate to build a following, we're re-running that piece again today. Tell us about your worst roommates.
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The setting is Torrance, Ca.
I’d made the poor decision to move there from southern Oregon with the hope of attending school at the Art Institute of Los Angeles. Needless to say, this didn’t happen.
I’ll cut more or less to the chase.
I moved in to a 2 bedroom apartment with my then girlfriend, her best friend, and her best friend’s cousin Kristin. The months that followed included so many absolute atrocities to mankind that I am only able to provide a highlight reel.
On our second night in the apartment, our Complex Manager came to our door asking if we had any “special needs”. He proceeded to come into our house and offer various illegal substances. After declining, he asked if he could use the bathroom. We hesitantly said yes, and watched as he proceeded to smoke crack in our bathroom.
Weeks later, Kristin starts dating a 40 year old, obese, balding, rude, loud, ass fucking Italian man who happened to have a lot of money. When asked why she dated such an slimeball, the only excuse the 23 year old L.A. girl could provide was “He drives a Hummer”. A few days later, I walk in on Kristin and my then girlfriend having a discussion about men. Kristin mentions off handedly how she “takes it up the ass every now and again like any other girl”. As if to prove her point, she invites the Bald Boy Toy over that night for some ass romping. After sitting through 30 min. of uncomfortable ass to beer belly slaps, Baldy walks into the living room in his skivvies and wifebeater. He moves toward our small kitchen, grabs a chair, sets it in the balcony doorway, and proceeds to air his man-stench out (aided by a fan) into the apartment complex.
Disgusted and overwhelmed with sight and sound, I retreat to my room.
Minutes later, in a thick Italian accent, Baldy Boy Toy is yelling about some stain on his slimy wifebeater. He mentions, and I quote- “My grand-ah-mother-ah ah-got that ah shit on her carpet- and let me tell you, dat-ah shit ah smells, ah-FOREVER!”.
Needless to say, my mind is helplessly running through any substance that could
1- Appear on his wifebeater
2- Be on his grandmother’s carpet
3- Smell forever.
Things didn't get any better. The story continues, but would drift off the topic of roommates and into the "flesh eating pests" category.
The setting is Torrance, Ca.
I’d made the poor decision to move there from southern Oregon with the hope of attending school at the Art Institute of Los Angeles. Needless to say, this didn’t happen.
I’ll cut more or less to the chase.
I moved in to a 2 bedroom apartment with my then girlfriend, her best friend, and her best friend’s cousin Kristin. The months that followed included so many absolute atrocities to mankind that I am only able to provide a highlight reel.
On our second night in the apartment, our Complex Manager came to our door asking if we had any “special needs”. He proceeded to come into our house and offer various illegal substances. After declining, he asked if he could use the bathroom. We hesitantly said yes, and watched as he proceeded to smoke crack in our bathroom.
Weeks later, Kristin starts dating a 40 year old, obese, balding, rude, loud, ass fucking Italian man who happened to have a lot of money. When asked why she dated such an slimeball, the only excuse the 23 year old L.A. girl could provide was “He drives a Hummer”. A few days later, I walk in on Kristin and my then girlfriend having a discussion about men. Kristin mentions off handedly how she “takes it up the ass every now and again like any other girl”. As if to prove her point, she invites the Bald Boy Toy over that night for some ass romping. After sitting through 30 min. of uncomfortable ass to beer belly slaps, Baldy walks into the living room in his skivvies and wifebeater. He moves toward our small kitchen, grabs a chair, sets it in the balcony doorway, and proceeds to air his man-stench out (aided by a fan) into the apartment complex.
Disgusted and overwhelmed with sight and sound, I retreat to my room.
Minutes later, in a thick Italian accent, Baldy Boy Toy is yelling about some stain on his slimy wifebeater. He mentions, and I quote- “My grand-ah-mother-ah ah-got that ah shit on her carpet- and let me tell you, dat-ah shit ah smells, ah-FOREVER!”.
Needless to say, my mind is helplessly running through any substance that could
1- Appear on his wifebeater
2- Be on his grandmother’s carpet
3- Smell forever.
Things didn't get any better. The story continues, but would drift off the topic of roommates and into the "flesh eating pests" category.
Worst roomate ever. Would freak if I moved her GALLON water jug (in the fridge) that she drank from every morning before going to work, and then some more when she got home from work. Faucet in kitchen was being replaced by landlord one morning, so rather than go into the bathroom and fill my cup there, I drank from her water supply in the fridge.
It was straight vodka.