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Homeless Frank on Boston's Bomb Scare

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Editor's Note - Homeless Frank lives in front of the building where I work. I pay him food in return for blog entries. For this one he got 2 cans of Spam, a six pack of Miller, and a loaf of Wonderbread. I've corrected spelling and grammar; all thoughts belong to Frank.

Today Homeless Frank shares his thoughts about the Aqua Teen Bomb Scare.

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Lucky Charles got a warm place in the subway. Been staying with him a few days. He keeps dogs. Motherfuckers stink but it's warm. When you got the choice between breathing in dog piss or having your dick turn into an icicle, you gots to choose the dog piss every single time.

Cause that's just the way life is, a big ole' breath of warm dog piss and not a fucking thing you can do about it.

Lucky Charles gots a radio and I was listening to them stupid motherfuckers that put up them signs in Boston. Them boys dumb but they ain't got nothing on the Boston police. Them some stupid motherfuckers.

You really think them terrorists gonna put a blinking sign on their bombs? Ain't nobody stupid enough to believe that bullshit, cept maybe the Boston police.

I spent 2 years back in the 80s living in Boston. Shit hole town that gots nothing better to do than dig holes in the dirt and throw money into it. Big Dig they called it. Big Motherfucking Mistake I call it.

And them Boston people ain't got no sympathy for the homeless. They ignore us. Like we ain't there. Hell if them bombers wanted to blow apart Boston all they would have to do is make bombs into the shape of homeless people. None of them motherfuckers would notice a damn thing.

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9 Comments

I'm telling you my man, you've found a gold mine. He really should be working on Wall Street. Maybe he did. Great stuff...

said deriter on February 4, 2007 8:05 PM.

The last paragraph is phenomenal. If Frank isn't real, whoever wrote this is a genius.

said Lusus on February 4, 2007 8:21 PM.

jeez, i clicked on an ad after reading that.

said pizpot on February 4, 2007 8:42 PM.

I think you should start making Homeless Frank T-Shirts and give him a percentage. Although, if he stops being homeless, his thoughts probably won't be worth shit.

said Leo Cesario on February 5, 2007 9:05 AM.

"Cause that's just the way life is, a big ole' breath of warm dog piss and not a fucking thing you can do about it."

Preach on, Brother Frank, preach on!

said Hugh on February 5, 2007 1:42 PM.

This Frank feature is awesomeness on a cracker!

said Mooncity on February 5, 2007 3:25 PM.

I'm sorry, but this is fake. My opinion, but I'm pretty sure.

said William on February 5, 2007 6:44 PM.

Fake in what sense?

said Scaramouch on February 5, 2007 8:54 PM.

Well, the entry sounds like a copy writer trying to sound like a homeless person. And paying with Spam, Miller and Wonderbread? Last time it was vodka for a story about American Idol. Dosen't that sound contrived to you?

And correcting the spelling and grammar. Are we to belive this was written out? I would believe it more if it was recorded and transcribed.

Let's see a photo of Frank creating and entry. And stop giving him booze, and how about a Honey Baked Ham instead of Spam.

My apologies if I'm off base, it is an entertaining post, but I can't buy it as legit.

said William on February 5, 2007 9:41 PM.
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