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Homeless Frank on American Idol

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Editor's Note - Homeless Frank lives in front of the building where I work. After the 10th time he asked for change I told him I'd give him food in return for a blog entry. For this one I paid him a bottle of Smirnoff and a pack of Newports. I've corrected spelling and grammar; all thoughts belong to Frank.

Today Homeless Frank shares his thoughts about American Idol.

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Last few nights I've been working the crowds up in Times Square. You catch them coming out from a movie or one of them shows and their all happy and shit. Guys with their women wanna look all sweet. They'll give me change and hope that gets them pussy. There's easier ways to get pussy but I ain't gonna tell them.

One of them Arab stores up there got a tv on and I saw this show, American Idol. What the fuck is this happy shit?

Crowds of people, standing in line, all looking like the dumbest idiots ever to pop out of their mamma's belly. They wait for hours just so they can go into a room and have 3 people tell them they're idiots. I would tell them they're soft brains without them having to stand in line. That's cause I'm normally nice to retards.

And why does it take 3 motherfuckers to tell them their stupid? One person could do it. They dance or sing for a minute and then this drunk bitch or the black dude tells them, "Yup, you're a fucking idiot, next please." There's a white guy there too. He looks like a fucking cat that just drank your milk and pissed in your bed.

I fucking hate cats. Hate that goddamned tv show too.

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12 Comments

Good Lord, I can't believe how addicted I am to Frank's thoughts. Is there anyway you can get him to do a video blog? Seriously. I need this.

said William Tillis on January 29, 2007 6:24 AM.

I would think the Smirnoff made him much happier than the beans you've been paying him. Probably nagged you into it, didn't he?

said Miss Cellania on January 29, 2007 9:29 AM.

He's starting to ask for payment up front which is problematic when it's alcohol.

said razen on January 29, 2007 9:37 AM.

whats the secret to getting pu$$y!! i must know. give him a 40 for me :)

said need2know on January 29, 2007 10:28 AM.

Should I be disturbed that Homeless Frank and I have the same views? Can I send you stuff to give to Homeless Frank and then you can ask him one of my questions?

said Lynette Radio on January 29, 2007 11:25 AM.

more frankian brilliance. money line: I fucking hate cats.

KEEP IT COMING!

said Jim in LA on January 29, 2007 11:32 AM.

Frank's very observant isn't he? You may have a goldmine here. Most of what he's said so far matches my opinions in a frightening manner.

said deriter on January 29, 2007 11:58 AM.

WHAAAT? Frank has the secrets to getting pussy and hes holding out on us?Son of a bitch!! I say torture him by dangling expensive Vodka in front of him!

said elChupacabra on January 29, 2007 2:01 PM.

I could make a correlation between "too much pussy" and Frank's current station in life, but I won't.

said Scaramouch on January 29, 2007 2:24 PM.

Frankian Wisdom!

More, more, more!

Especially that "gettin' some" part.

Mr. Frank, your views on Immigration?

said Mooncity on January 29, 2007 5:03 PM.

That is *the* best description of Simon Cowell I have ever read/heard. Bullseye.

Frank for prez!

said Lusus on January 29, 2007 7:27 PM.

I am now going to tell everybody I know to read this. Frank thinks like real men should

said Apollo on January 29, 2007 8:15 PM.
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