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Homeless Frank and Paris Hilton

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Editor's Note - Homeless Frank is an individual who lives in front of the building where I work. After the 10th time he asked for change I told him I'd give him food in return for a blog entry. He's agreed and here's the results of his first labor. For this entry I paid him 2 cans of beanie weenies and a six pack of Miller. Beyond correcting his spelling, all thoughts belong to Frank.

Today Homeless Frank shares his thoughts on Paris Hilton

paris-hilton-blender.jpg

Motherfucking stars and shit..burning my eyes. Paris Hilton and her goddamn dog. I read. I see her looking out at me. Famous for what? Hitler was famous. He had a goddamn dog too.

She got a drooping eye. Don't no one else notice that? Looks like she got hit in the head with a frying pan. How the fuck can you be popular looking like you just got hit by your man? I knew a women got hit in the head had an eye like that. She got hit in the face with a beer bottle though. Maybe she should start being famous too.

Bookstore around the corner throws out those rag magazines and I use them. Warm you up. Words and paper will if you stuff them in your shirt. But Paris is always on that slick paper. Glossy. Can't even use her to keep warm. I'll wipe my ass with Paris Hilton. That's all she's good for. Wiping ass.

This enough?

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16 Comments

This HAS to be a regular feature. I'll even give Frank his own share of the Google revenue.

Next time I was Frank's opinion on Second Life please.

said Scaramouch on January 21, 2007 12:58 AM.

OMG! This is the best! Take it to the next level and bring us some vid please!!

What are his views on Valentine's Day?

said Kera on January 21, 2007 1:18 AM.

awesome!

"this enough?"

stupendous.

said Jim in LA on January 21, 2007 3:39 AM.

For the love of God, someone get this man a Justice League membership! He is my new hero!

said Your mom's new boyfriend on January 21, 2007 4:40 AM.

Whenever I write anything negative, its out of love, ok? This is my favorite blog.

I smell a fake.

said John on January 21, 2007 9:46 AM.

More Frank. More Frank. In the name of all things holy More Frank. Buy him some Hennessy and you may get even higher quality comments!

said WizNoz on January 21, 2007 10:01 AM.

OMG Frank RULES. Can we post world topic questions to him to get his "Frank Answers"? You know, from someone that sees this spinning meat-space globe for what it is? Very nice.

said Lynette on January 21, 2007 10:26 AM.

U didn't edit this just a little? Every effing sentence is pure magic!!!

His thoughts on God/religion pleazzze!!!

said elChupacabra on January 21, 2007 12:28 PM.

Get that man some potted meat and let's see what he can REALLY do!

said Lusus on January 21, 2007 1:51 PM.

If this blog is real, it could quite possibly be the best idea in all of human history.

said Ron on January 21, 2007 2:50 PM.

If this is real it is a fasinating original. Too bad there aren't more people not afraid to write what they really think without the political correctness. Good luck to Frank, some one set that man up with a good bottle and a laptop and watch the thoughts fly out. Drink for a while and write for a while, sounds like a good deal for all concerned.

said Jim on January 22, 2007 3:29 PM.

If this is real it is a fasinating original. Too bad there aren't more people not afraid to write what they really think without the political correctness. Good luck to Frank, some one set that man up with a good bottle and a laptop and watch the thoughts fly out. Drink for a while and write for a while, sounds like a good deal for all concerned.

said Jim in OKC on January 22, 2007 3:29 PM.

I also join in the clarion call for more Frank!

Your thoughts on George Bush, terrorists, and the war in Iraq, Mr. Frank?

said Mooncity on January 22, 2007 3:35 PM.

Is that Lee Clow?

said Tim Nudd on January 24, 2007 12:26 PM.

No, I think it's George Parker

said Scaramouch on January 24, 2007 12:40 PM.

If you have to do it, you might as well do it right

said propecia on May 27, 2009 12:52 PM.
The
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