You knew this was coming, so let's get it out of the way. Number two on the 12 lists of Christmas is a look at my favorite Holiday Classics. In reality, it's probably close to everyone else's ten favorites, as there aren't that many out there, but it needed to be included.
And at number ten...
The Ref
Caroline: How can we both be in the marriage and I'm miserable and you're content?
Lloyd: Luck?
Family Man
Annie: Do you like kids?
Jack: On a case-by-case basis.
Annie: Do you know how to make chocolate milk?
Jack: I think I could figure it out.
Annie: Promise you won't kidnap me an my brother and plant stuff in our brains?
Jack: Sure.
Annie: Welcome to earth.
Home Alone
Harry: Why the hell did you take your shoes off?
Marv: Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?
Scrooged
Frank Cross: If you touch me again, I'm gonna rip your Goddamn wings off, okay?!
Ghost of Christmas Present: You know I like the rough stuff, don't you Frank?
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Jack Skellington: Merry Christmas! And what is your name?
Kid: uh... uh...
Jack Skellington: That's all right. I have a present for you anyway. Merry Christmas! [slips out the chimney]
Mother: And what did Santa bring you, Honey? [kid shows parents his present - a shrunken head; parents scream]
It's A Wonderful Life
Harry Bailey: A toast to my big brother George: The richest man in town.
Elf
Buddy: You stink. You smell like beef and cheese. You don't smell like Santa.
Bad Santa
Willie: Don't fuck with my beard.
Kid: It's not real.
Willie: No shit. Well, it was real. But, you see, I got sick and all the hair fell out. SO I have to wear this fuckin' thing.
Kid: How'd you get sick?
Willie: I loved a woman who wasn't clean.
Kid: Mrs. Santa?
Willie: No, it was her sister.
Christmas Vacation
Clark W. Griswold: When Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!
We interupt this top ten list for the following Where Are They Now entry...Remember Nicolette Scorsese, the hottie behind the lingerie counter? Well, let this be a lesson to ya. Don't grow old.
A Christmas Story
Ralphie: No! No! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!
Santa Claus: You'll shoot your eye out, kid
Chop Suey Palace Waiters: [singing] Deck the halls with boughs of horry, ra ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra.
Mr. Parker: Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian.
Mrs. Parker: Uh, I think that says FRAGILE, dear.
Mr. Parker: Oh, yeah
And check out the previous 12 Lists of Christmas Entries:
#1 -Top Ten Christmas TV Villains
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Hmmm... good list (nice call on "The Ref"), but surely the Alistair Sim version of "A Christmas Carol" is definitive enough to make this list. I'd switch that with "Family Man" because it has Nick Cage, and I hate him. I'd also hafta cast a vote for "Holiday Inn" or "The Bishop's Wife". I dunno about "Santa Claus: The Movie", but I guess it would qualify (I wouldn't bump "A Christmas Story" for it). "An American Christmas Carol" would be good too, but technically a TV movie.
you have to keep the FAMILY MAN. that movie
is freakin unbelievable.