From the Ultra Secret Hush-Hush Diary of K-Fed:

- Yo diary, I’m back in Cali, kickin it loose and just chillin in my Malibu Britney Dreamhouse. Living this double life is draining, ya know what I’m saying? Working undercover for the CIA ain’t easy and these past few months have been busier than a homeboy's sperm trying to make it up a trailerpark uterus.

Feel me, check out the past few months…

What could be as funny as a Benny Hill soundtrack (Yakety Sax)? Possibly Monty Python's rendition of Knights of the Round Table, as performed by the cast of Star Trek.

I'm doing Star Wars today, but when I saw this, I felt compelled to share. So sue me.

So yesterday we took a walk down slapstick memory lane, courtesy of the Benny Hill show. Today, I thought I'd post some examples of what happens when you speed up a video clip, and add the Benny Hill theme music. The results are pretty interesting.

...and this concludes our Benny Hill-related programming for the forseeable future.

Good Evening, Ladies and Gentlemen.

Well, as many of you may already know, Stephen Colbert of the Colbert Report recently put on an awesome display of good old American we're-better-than-youness; showing Hungary what a first-world celebrity can do, by dominating their Name Our New Bridge Contest. He put out an urgent request to every Colbert-watching hero in the nation, and within a week, had over 17 million votes. This easily vaults Stephen into the second round (especially when you consider Hungary has only 10 million people) where he'll probably lose because the contest now requires voter registration, and heros have other things to do.

Still, 17 million votes in one week...Not too shabby, America. For a little perspective, consider 62 million votes elected our last President. Or more importantly, 73 million made Kelly Clarkson our first Idol...and she had an entire season. Explains that look of sheer ecstacy when Stephen annouced the results. The people have spoken, and Steve's their guy!

But it's halftime now, and team Hungary's changed the rules. Looks like no Colbert Bridge in Budapest (or wherever). It was pretty sweet too, not the kind of thing the coyote falls thru with the bomb. This was gonna be first class. Oh well, still got little Stephen Jr. But there must be other nameless items out there just dying for this ultimate American distinction. We've got to move quick though, before their contests expire. So take a look at ten other things we could name after Stephen Colbert. Then we'll all get together to decide which to go after. Because Steve deserves it.

With September and the new gallery season almost upon us, thoughts turn toward the arts.

5) Saw this on a magazine cover, and thought it was a pretty cool print. Apparently, I wasn't alone.
4) It all starts with color, right? So why not celebrate that fact when you have your cheerios.
3) A girl taking an AT-AT for a walk. Not even that into Star Wars, but I'd put this up on the wall.
2) Buy a limited edition from Creative Time, and you're supportung the arts while you decorate.
1) And I just recently discovered Justine Smith. Don't know much about her, but I know I need this dog.

- Jeremy Piven thinks Billy Bush should consider another line of work. Used car salesman comes to mind.
- Have you heard of the I/O brush. Well, if you've ever wanted to paint the color eyeball, this is for you.
- You've seen pictures of the old food automats in New York City, right? Well it looks like they're coming back.
- Steve Carrell, Steve Colbert and now possibly Rob Cordry. The Daily Show is basically a star-making machine.
- And check out how one man can go from island castaway to online kiddie stalker in Conan's opening Emmy bit.

Jessica Simpson has lost her voice. She is not to sing or even speak. Simpson's problem is reportedly so severe she has been told to resist talking or risk losing her voice permanently.
Oh, well. At least she's still got those triple D's and daisy dukes. God is merciful.
And apparently she has some other uses for her mouth:

I posted a couple weeks ago about the 2,996 project, where different bloggers will post a tribute to each of the 2,996 victims of the terrorist attacks of 9/11. As of 11:19 PM Monday evening, all 2,996 victims have been assigned to a blog. Job Well Done to D Challener Roe, who instigated the project and put in a LOT of work recruiting bloggers! See the involved sites listed at the 2,996 site, and take some time to read the tributes which will be posted on September 11, 2006.

Now, who would've thought you could ever get almost 3000 bloggers to agree on anything?