"Sir, I'm going to have to take this bottle of water away from you since it might be a liquid explosive, and I'm going to have to mix it with all of these other bottles of possibly liquid explosive, and I'm going to have to dump them all in this trash can together.

You should. It's August, and you're required to by law. To help, how about taking a look at one of the most famous last plays in college football history. The 1982 Cal/Stanford "through the band" touchdown run.

I could not resist.

MySpace.com have come up with a foolproof way to identify yourself in the event of identity fraud.

Head On - Apply Directly to your Forehead
Head On - Apply Directly to your Forehead
Head On - Kill your parents
Head On - Join Us
Head On - Apply Directly to your Forehead

Yup...I taped it and slowed it down 500 percent, and that's what I heard. Meanwhile, a headache-curing product called Head On is permanently fused in my long-term memory, but I have no idea what Capital One is, or why David Spade hits a fat guy every time he says "yes" at the Capital One plant. So, what's the better spot?

And what's the deal with creepy commercials, anyway? Or more to the point, creepy advertising icons. For every cottonelle puppy that skips across the screen, there's a really twisted king on vacation from my last nightmare, or staring in a window offering someone a whopper with cheese...and the weird part is that he's the one kicking ass. So much so, that McDonalds tried to creep out the clown in defense. What? Do we like hearing sales pitches from mental facility escapees? Or is it just that it takes Freddy Kruger to "break through the clutter" (God, I hate that phrase). Anyway...seemed ripe territory for a list, so I put together ten of the creepiest icons in adland history, as a tribute to messed-up art directors everywhere...enjoy.

PS: One last thing. After I finished, I looked back and realized...Holy Shit, this would be the best Real World house MTV could ever dream of. There's gotta be a way we can make that happen.

- I'm not the only one obseessed with Stoners. Check the next Rolling Stone magazine for a very unique insert.
- For me, it's all about the kittys this week. Add your own feline to Infinite Cat Project. It fairly self-explanitory.
- Looks like the mayor's deciding what to do with Governor's Island. And he's got it narrowed down to 10 choices.
- How Saving Private Ryan can beat The Shining on a list of the 25 Most Shocking Hollywood Moments is beyond me.
- And remember that final scene from Six Feet Under. Definitely the biggest tearjerker on the famous series finales list.