Hey, have you heard? Trivial Pursuit is coming out with a new 80's edition. It's called Totally 80's, and they've dusted off everyone from Mrs. Garrett to Tubbs to promote it. I don't know...call me crazy but I think this 80's retro thing may take off. I could even see a whole network based on 70's and 80's nostalgia. Shows with stars like Peter Brady and Hulk Hogan, maybe even drag Ted Nugent out of the survival bunker to form a super group. No...on second thought, what the hell am I thinking, that all sounds awful. (But an 80's inspired line of home furnishings...now there's an idea)
Anyway, I noticed they also hired Kelly LeBrock, who doesn't look half bad after a season of Celebrity Fit Club. Almost makes me want to hate her again because she's beautiful. And that got me thinking...what are some of the other 80's goddesses doing these days? But not the normal ones you'd expect. I'm not curious about any brat packers or 90210'ers. I'm interested in the ladies you don't hear much about (or at least I don't). And I discovered some really interesting stuff along the way.
Phoebe Cates - Fast Times Goddess
We start off with an 80's icon. Phoebe Cates is responsible for what is probably the most memorable scene in Fast Times, and the reason Judge Reinhold can never say he hasn't maturbated on camera. She retired from acting at an early age, but hasn't retired from the spotlight. She and husband Kevin Kline are basically royalty on the Upper West Side in Manhattan, and in 2005 Phoebe took on the new role of entrepreneur, opening up Blue Tree on Madison Avenue, where you can find gift items ranging from practical to extravagant. (not sure if they sell the bikini poster)
Helen Slater - Supergirl
Here's a topical one, what with the Man of Steel back in theaters, and all. You probably remember Helen Slater not only as Supergirl, but as Billy Jean, as Michael J. Fox's girlfriend in Secret of My Success, and as Judge Reinhold's partner in Ruthless People...a true 80's legend. Well it seems as though she's more focused on music than acting these days. Ms. Slater released One of the Days, in which she sings and plays piano, in 2003 and Crosswords came out in 2005. You can purchase either on her site, and stay tuned to YesBut for Where Are They Now - Everyone who acted with Judge Reinhold in the 80's
Sandahl Bergman - Conan's Muscular Hottie
Remember Valeria? The sword-wielding hottie who asks Conan "Do you wanna live forever"? Well, she didn't in the flick, and her career didn't for too long after it. Being in Red Sonja and Xanadu will do that to a career. Can't find much on Ms. Bergmann other than some TV guest roles, an appearance in the Singing Detective in 2003, and regional theatre. But there's always hope for Conan 3.
Mia Sara - Sloane from Ferris Beuller
Is it just me, or is Matthew Broderick the luckiest son-of-a-bitch on the planet. Ferris has not only performed with the lovely Sloane, but got cast with Marlon Brando in one of the Godfather's last roles, and also married Sarah Jessica. But he seems like a good guy, so what the hell. Anyway, yes, Mia Sara was the high school hottie Ferris chose to skip school with (Do you have a kiss for daddy?), but she's also done a ton of movies and tv since then. But the most interesting thing...Mia was actually married to Sean Connery's kid for a while, and they had a son. Yup, that's right...Bond money, shaken AND stirred. (Hey, I never said I wasn't shallow.)
Kristy McNichol - 80's Girl Next Door
Ok, there's always gotta be a slightly sad one in the bunch. You remember Kristy McNichol. Everybody's sweetheart Kristy McNichol. Buddy from Family Kristy McNichol. Jesus, just look up wholesome in the dictionary and you'll find her yearbook picture. Anyway, apparently she had to leave the series Empty Nest due to being diagnosed with bi-polar disorder (so, who hasn't) and since leaving acting has taught high school drama class, worked as a camp counseler and at a hair salon. Which (don't get me wrong) are all very respectable careers. (I write for a blog, for christ sakes) But haven't they got a handle on bi-polar disorder these days (they can cure restless leg syndrome) It would be nice to see Buddy back on tv where she belongs.
Lynn Holly Johnson - Skating Bondgirl
Ice skating actress extraordinaire. You may remember Lynn Holly Johnson as the girl who loses her sight in Ice Castles. Or you may know her as James Bond's skating companion in For Your Eyes Only. What you probably didn't know is that she was also the original inspiration for the cottonelle puppy (who's an adorable widdle ice skater). Just kidding. Not too many prime parts after the Bond Girl stint (she actually has a razzie) led to a post-acting return to school to become a physician's assistant. She even spent time in Mexico as a missionary, assisting surgeons working with deformed children. She now lives in Newport Beach with architect husband Kelly Givens. Cool lady.
Lori Singer - Ariel from Footloose
Julie in Fame, Ariel in Footloose, and Maddy in The Man with One red Shoe. Lori Singer has definitely her share of classic 80's roles. Continuing in film for a number of years, she's been...blah, blah, blah. Look, here's the deal. You can find out anything you've ever wanted to know about Ms. Singer at An Alluring Lori Singer. But something's not right. The guy that runs it is at, like, stalker levels of fandom. Check out this photos page. He's been following her for years. And the creepy thing...he's turned off the right-click save function on all the images. It's like she belongs to him, and no one else can have her. (I think I'm scared) If you see this guy, and he asks who it is at YesBut that's talking about his woman, please give him my office info. My real name is Sean Hannity, and I work at Fox News on Sixth Avenue. I'll deal with him there. And good luck, Lori.
Cathy Lee Crosby - That's Incredible Babe
Did you know Cathy Lee Crosby was the original Wonder Woman? Did you know she went out with Joe Theisman through much of the 80's? Did you know these Where Are They Now articles take forever to write? Most people know her as the female host from That's Incredible. But she'll always be Coach Rawlings to me. (Tube socks never looked so good.) More recently, she's written Let The Magic Begin, in which she promotes the benefits of the Bliss Zone (no idea...just read the book). And soon she'll be appearing in Last Guy on Earth with Rob Schneider and every woman in Hollywood. There's a rental for ya.
Meredith Salenger - Natty Gann All Grown Up
WHO? Ok, indulge me. This is a personal favorite. I used to think Meredith Salenger was the hottest thing on the planet. Ever since Dream A Little Dream (of course not...I saw it on cable) where she played Lainie opposite Nicholson and DeNiro, I mean Feldman and Haim. Anyway, I saw her again a few years back in Lake Placid (once again, on cable) and wondered where she had been. Turns out she took a little time off to graduate cum laude from FRIGGIN' HARVARD (can you hear that...that's my self-esteem shriveling up and dying) and now she's back at it, appearing in a plethora (Harvard word) of TV and movie gigs. Wow, beauty AND brains...But I think we need a change of pace.
The Landers Sisters - 80's version of Jessica and Ashlee
Ahhh...some sorbet to cleanse the palette. Judy and Audrey Landers were the 80's go-to girls for any production needing a less-than-brilliant blonde hottie. (And that's not a dig. I'm sure it's great work if you can get it.) As their site states...long before the Barbi Twins, there were the Landers Sister. Take that Mary Kate and Ashley. I think Audrey was best known for her work on Dallas, and Judy is just known for being blonde. She's also responsible for what I think is a defining line of dialogue in 80's pop culture: If I had known it was going to be this kind of party I would've worn underwear. Man, where have all the good writers gone? Anyway, after a slew of Love Boat appearances, Audrey and Judy took a turn as producers, developing a children's show for PBS called The Huggabug Club. Who knew? From Playboy to Playdate...that's hot.
Cindy Morgan - Lacy Underall
Man, she looks great, doesn't she? Meanwhile, Chevy Chase actually does look like Gerald Ford. You know Cindy...we all know Cindy. She enjoys skinny-skiing and going to bullfights on acid. I may have watched Caddyshack more times than I've flossed. And I floss alot. I still turn toward the screen right before she dives into the pool on caddy day. So what's she been up to, you can read all about Tron, and Falcon Crest and everything else in this interview with RetroCrush. But check this out, she's currently promoting a CaddyShack Reunion Golf Tournament that takes place THIS WEEKEND near Chicago (talk about timing). And proceeds are being given to the families of National Guard members from Illinois. How great is that? If you're in Chicago, you should definitely check it out.
Lydia Cornell - Ted Knight's daughter and My New Hero
And the best for last...I can't believe I didn't know about Lydia Cornell before I started writing this. Obviously I knew her from Too Close For Comfort. That's why I included her to begin with. But reading that she's writing a book called How To Talk To Ann Coulter, If You Must. That's like tripping over the Holy Grail while you're on a camping trip. Check out this article she wrote earlier this year. She seriously lays into Dubya for everything from Katrina to illegal wiretapping. And here she tackles the Coulterbeast's fixation on death to liberals. Definitely gotta add her blog to the regular read list. Any enemy of Eva Braun's...ya know.
That's it...Where Are They Now - Babes of the Eighties edition. Send ideas for any other Where Are They Now's, and maybe we'll use them. It's not like we've got anything better to do.