"16 Blocks" *** (out of four): Like a good Sidney Lumet movie without the social resonance, director Richard Donner's return to the interracial buddy movie is solid if ultimately forgettable.

Richard Donner is no one-trick pony. The director of the finest superhero movie (1978’s “Superman”) also gave us such varied fare as “The Omen”, “Ladyhawke” and episodes of “The Six Million Dollar Man” before settling into the “Lethal Weapon” series in the 80s. By the time that franchise had run its course with 1998’s gasping “Lethal Weapon 4”, it had long since run out of steam. Older and perhaps a bit wiser, Mr. Donner took a break from directing (with one ignoble pitstop for “Timeline” in 2003). Now “16 Blocks” sees Mr. Donner back in buddy-cop territory but with more on his mind than action.

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It's often a struggle to come up with funny shit for this blog. I have to admit to a bit of a writer's block myself the last couple of weeks. But not so Josh Walk, who was live-blogging the Oscars over on EW. Not only was he throwing out fantastic zingers, he was doing it almost in real time. Check out the transcript - some funny stuff. I'm full of admiration.

As a Netflix subscriber since 2001 (and a member of Denville, New Jersey's Hollywood Nites for the duration of its existence), I've been made to feel foolish by the Motion Picture Academy. It seems like this year's strategy is to scoff at a subversive, low-society, wretched underclass: movie renters.

A montage to illustrate this scolding included Ben Hur, a 1959 movie I'd estimate only 5% of the audience saw in theaters. Jake Gyllenhaal could barely suffer through his oddly confrontational intro, which included a gratuitous shot at portable DVD players.

Has any of this inspired me to run out to my local theater? Nah. I'm ripping Cinderella Man for tomorrow's commute.

I do feel good about Phillip Seymour Hoffman's win. He should have won 8 years ago, for his memorable role of Brandt in The Big Lebowski. I don't think he was nominated.

I can relate to this...

1) U.S. Citibank customer in Canada goes to ATM to get money.
2) Customer can't withdraw money from ATM due to Citibank fraud issue.
3) Rep tells customer he has to come back to U.S. to change PIN#.
4) How can I get back to U.S. if I don't have any money?
5) Sorry.

I've dealt with Citibank customer service several times. I've also volunteered for the Special Olympics. In a problem solving competition between these two organizations, I would place my entire life savings on the latter participant.

If you're a fellow-Citibank sufferer, pass this story along. You'll feel better in the morning.

Natalie Portman...Gangsta Rapper.

(hold me)

"We're glad you called us for information about masturbation."