Whether you like Tucker Max or not one thing for sure is the stories he tells are truly hilarious. Here's an excerpt from one of his latest where his friend Slingblade recounts on his trip home after spending a debauched weekend with Tucker (via Wozafriday).

9:00 a.m. - I then realize there is a 24 hour porn store truck stop at this exit. I go in. The owner looks up, does a double take and says “Damn boy” while he shakes his head. Apparently I look a mess. I check this in the mirror. Picture an extra from Schindler’s List with conjunctivitis. Keep in mind that it is an epidemiological fact that truck stops are pretty much the nexus point of every country-wide communicable disease outbreak in the history of the United States. This guy services TRUCK STOP PROSTITUTES and yet finds me pathetic. I find this funny and start giggling. I can’t stop giggling and decide I should leave the store.

9:25 a.m. - I sneeze and my left Eustachian tube blows out. For the next twenty minutes I feel like I am leaning to me left. I absently tap my left pupil with my finger to make the itching stop. I wonder if the things they used to keep that guy’s eyes open in “A Clockwork Orange” are a) commercially available and b) sold at gas stations. Read the rest of this entry >>

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