Can someone explain to me why, for the past two weeks, I could find one of the four vacation movies on some cable channel, at least twice a day. Trust me, I'm not complaining. With everything else in reruns, Clark and family were welcome at all hours, and I got to practice my line memorizing...I'm going steady, and I French kiss. So? Everybody does that. Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it
Well, when you watch them all together like that, the fact that they changed the kids in each movie stands out even more. And it got me thinking again. I know Anthony Michael Hall is solving crimes on USA, and I just heard Juliette Lewis on Howard a few months back, but there were eight of them. Did they go on to bigger and better things, or will they show up on Former Childstar Central...this calls for some useless research.
Vacation Audrey - Dana Barron
First up...Dana Barron, Audrey #1 and the daughter responsible for asking cousin Vicki about her frenching skills.
Dana remained in show business, working in both tv and movies...mostly "b" stuff though. She did have a recurring role on 90210, and was a regualr on a short-lived TV version of the magnificent seven (who knew?) But when you find them on the autograph signing sites, you know they're usually in minute 17 of their stardom. Her classic Vacation role will probably be what she's remembered for. (I know...still about a zillion times more impressive than anything I've done)
This is kinda weird, though. She's listed as being one of the three Dana's of American acting (you mean, like the two Corey's?) More on that later.
Vacation Rusty - Anthony Michael Hall
Sixteen Candles, Breakfast Club, Weird Science, the really shitty SNL years, Johnny B Good, Edward Scissorhands, around 50 different TV movies, playing Whitey Ford on HBO's 61 (pretty cool flick about Roger Maris), nothing, nothing, career resurgence on The Dead Zone. Let's move on.
European Audrey- Dana Hill
These are the ones that get me...Dana Hill passed away in 1996 from her long-standing battle with juvenile diabetes. She had suffered from the disease since she was 10 years old. It limited what had apparently been a passion for sports, and also stunted her growth, forcing her to take roles playing much younger than she was. When the disease started to take over in the '90's, she switched to voiceover work, in series like Rugrats and Duckman. She was a real fighter, spent alot of her time trying to broaden awareness of the disease, and apparently had alot of fans, based on the tribute sites I found. Pretty cool gal.
PS: She's also Dana #2 from the group referenced above. Any guesses on #3?
Eropean Rusty - Jason Lively
I had a bitch of a time finding anything on this dude outside the normal IMBD stuff. Although that IS where I read he had a role in the 1993 classic, (I shit you not) Return To Zork. But you know what? Most interesting thing about this dude is that his whole family is in show business. Sister Robin was a regular on Twin Peaks, Chicago Hope, and Ralph Macchio fell in love with her in Karate Kid III. Sister Lori has gone the science-fiction route. Brother Eric is an up-and-comer currently in the L-Word. And sister Blake (whoa, sister Blake) was recently in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (chick flick). And get this, the whole freakin' family is in some '06 movie called Simon Says...how does that work?
Jason was is Return to Zork, though.
We interrupt this Where Are They Now post for an important trip down Christmas Vacation Memory Lane.
Christmas Audrey - Juliette Lewis
Cape Fear, Kalifornia, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, Basketball Diaries, Natural Born Killers...lady's got quite the resume, no? What you may not know (or maybe you do...who am I, Jellio Rivera) is that she's recently switched gears to become lead vocalist/rocker in Juliette and the Licks. (that's what she was promoting on the Stern show) Dear Juliette, please go back to acting.
My other intersting tidbit about Juliette. She's one of only thirteen celebrities whose Punk'd episode didn't air. When I read that, I was like...good for her, screw what's his name. Then I read that they simply forgot to air it. So much for being my hero. (Side note...how long before Ashton would suffocate if he ever decided to punk our friend, Johnny C...just a thought.)
Christmas Rusty - Johnny Galecki
Hey, it's Darlene's boyfriend from Roseanne. Another "on to bigger and better" stories. (The Griswolds have a pretty good batting average). Johnny's been in some pretty decent movies of his own...I Know what you Did Last Summer, Vanilla Sky, and I flick I liked alot, Suicide Kings. Next up...Happy Endings in 2006. (Well, you got me with the title. Please continue.)
By the way, Is it just me, or did anyone else notice that in every other Vacation flick, Rusty is older. But at Christmas time, all of a sudden, Audrey is the big sister. What cosmic entertainment worm hole causes that shit? Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Chanukah.
Vegas Audrey - Marisol Nichols
Check out who got overlooked on the Did They Get Hot post? The latest Audrey is actually Latino, which means...I didn't know they had a maid. (KIDDING. Jesus, relax) Minor parts in a few big pictures...Bowfinger, Can't Hardly Wait, Scream 2, but Marisol's now focusing on TV work. She was on that short-lived blind cop thing, and she actually premieres this Friday on an ABC series called In Justice...good luck you sexy Latin Griswold, you!
By the way...she's also a proud member of the Church of Scientology, which means she's beatiful AND a little nuts...how hot is that?
Vegas Rusty - Ethan Embry
Dude, what are you, like 28 or something? You're gonna be SOOO bald in three more years. Anyway, I've always liked Ethan Embry. He was the pain in the ass kid with Al Bundy in Dutch before Vegas Vacation, and after, he was his partner on Dragnet. (Who says there isn't some master plan?) Empire Records, White Squall, I Know What You Did, Harold & Kumar, and the bass player on That Thing You Do. (Every time I see that flick, the song's in my head for three days) Next up, a series called Brotherhood. But first, please...minoxidill, rogaine, that thing where they take part of the back and put it in the front...pick one, quick.
A few final thoughts...
1) Click here to download my favorite rant from all four movies.
I think you're all fucked in the head! We're 10 hours from the fuckin' fun park and you want to bail out! Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun, and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fuckin' fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling "Zippity Do-da" out of your assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrammage to see a moose!Praise Marty Moose! Holy shit!
B) There seems to be a sexual position called the Marty Moose.
and 3) Remember this kids...Save your money, or else. Link
And how's this for a New Year's Resolution. If you came here through a link from another site, stop being a pop culture lemming, and make YesButNoButYes your homepage. Just think...you'll be up on this useless shit before anyone else. Imagine the possibilities.